It is Day 7 of blogging every day in the month of October and I must admit, I am struggling with it today. How can I blog about magical things when my dear friend is burying her son today? He was the same age we were when we met and became friends so many years ago. Fifteen. Just fifteen years old. Then I think of the other family who is also burying their fifteen year old son today and I feel like I'm gasping for breath.
I sat on the couch last night, no longer able to fight the tears, and told Charlie that I felt completely overwhelmed with so many individuals to pray for as a result of this tragedy. I want to pray for each one of them separately because according to the nature of their relationship with the boys, their grief is all going to be so different. I hug my friend tight, tell her I'm praying for her and that I'm here for her. What else can I say?
I'd give anything if I had some sort of magic wand I could swirl around in the air three times and make this all go away, to make it all untrue, to stop the devastating heartache and pain they are all experiencing right now. I can't do that though, because there is no such thing. All I can do is continue to lift them all up in prayer to the only One who can heal their broken hearts.
They will never go back to the people they used to be, this I know for sure. But hour by hour, day by day, the pain will eventually lessen to the point where it will no longer be all-consuming. At least that is my prayer for them all.
The loss I suffered through the death of a spouse at such a young age was huge, unlike any pain I could have ever fathomed. So I think of that pain and then try to imagine what these parents are going through with the deaths of their children and my knees hit the floor. I've always thought that a parent burying their child must be the most unnatural experience anyone could ever be faced with in this world.
I remember the earliest hours of grief so I know that even as a believer, the pain is so immense in the beginning that it is nearly debilitating and that mere breathing takes great effort. I also know that, as believers, they will eventually find peace and comfort in the promise of Jesus Christ.