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Monday, February 28, 2011

Questions I'm asking myself right now...

*Why do I always stay up and fight sleep like a toddler to watch the Oscars when I'm bored to tears?  It's like I'm afraid I'll miss something hugely momentous and will then be the only human being on the planet who didn't see it. 

*Why has Brisco Darling the wiener dog suddenly become an insomniac?  I swear he has not slept through the night since he went nose to nose with Tuesday the squirrel in the sunroom last week. 

*How in the world did Dracen not realize his pants were 3 sizes too big this morning?  I, in my early morning fog and stupor, accidentally gave him a pair of Devin's pants to put on and he had already eaten breakfast, combed his hair, and was in the process of brushing his teeth when I noticed that his feet weren't visible and the crotch of his pants was at his knees.

*Why do people feel it necessary to drop the F bomb or constantly broadcast negative vibes in their facebook statuses?  Just say no to that. Please.

*How is it that Charlie had never tried Kellogg's Corn Pops cereal or butter in his oatmeal until just last week?  I'm introduing him to some fine breakfast cuisine over here. 

*What do so many people see in shows like Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious, and Real Housewives?  I mean, I will admit that I can't flip past Hoarders, Hoarding:Buried Alive or You Won't Believe What My Dog Ate  but watching a bunch of shallow, over-tanned, over-accessorized people get drunk and talk smack about each other is not my idea of a good time.

*Why does every single movie nowadays have a sex scene and someone who can't refrain from throwing around the F bomb in every other sentence, thus turning what could very well have been a PG movie that I could have taken the kids to into a PG-13 or R movie?  This is why I have not seen most of the movies nominated for awards last night.  Though Charlie and I did have a date night to see Black Swan a few weeks ago.  I was a little freaked out to discover that the actress who played Natalie Portman's character's mom was Barbara Hershey.  I had to google who that was when I got home and was shocked to discover it was her.  Didn't she used to be, I don't know...feminine?

*Where did Dracen get the idea to say "this just isn't working for me" about things like his math homework, taking out the trash and cleaning the guinea pig cage?  He's 7.

*Why did I find a dirty spoon on the floor of the boys' bathroom this morning? 

*Why do I have disturbing dreams every time I eat seafood?  I had shrimp at the Japanese restaurant yesterday and had a very eerie dream last night that I can't even remember...just recall waking up in the middle of the night scared out of my wits.  And I swear it happens every time I have seafood. There has to be something to this.  I mean, just look at Spongebob with his crazy dreams and he's living right down there with all those little sea critters, which brings me to my final question for today...

*Why does Spongebob live in a pineapple and why don't more people question the fact that he does?  Pineapples don't grow under the sea!    

Can anyone answer any of these question for me?  Anyone?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Fancy Friday...TGIF!

What with the nosebleed in the car, scraped up bloody ankle, a creeper squirrel, a wiener dog that has decided 5 am is the perfect time to wake me up for a snack, getting informed on the cost of a root canal, and a list of second grade spelling words including caw (as in the sound a crow makes),  trough (as in what a cow drinks out of) and several other words containing either ough or aw, I could not be happier that Friday has at once arrived. 

I've found some really cute, fanciful things to show y'all this week and while I was surfing around, I kept coming across camouflage over and over again.  Remember those cute little  orange flats I showed you last week and pointed out that while they do also come in camo, I would not recommend going there? 

Well, apparently I'm not completely in touch with what is hot right now but this still doesn't change the fact that I, personally, will not be sporting a pair of camouflage flats. Wasn't camo hot at one time back in the 80s?  Or did I dream that?  Some of my 80s details have gotten a little fuzzy.

In addition to the camo trend, leopard print also seems to be pretty hot right now and that is one thing I will sport, in moderation of course...  

Like this Michael Kors Leopard Belt  I found at Zappos...

Ruched Scarf
Love this scarf I found at Coldwater Creek.  It just says 'Spring' to me.  And it also comes in a pretty pink shade.

Embellished Stripe Poncho Tunic
I found this subtle sheer tunic at Boston Proper. Love, love, love.

Lucky Paloma Embroidered Smock Top
These bohemian style tops suck me right in every.single.time.  Puts me in touch with my inner hippie chick or takes me back to my 70s childhood, or something.  And I apologize, but if you wanna see it, you must click the link because that is one testy photo.  

AEO Mitered Stripe Tote 
I just thought this was really cute and just looks so warm weatherish/beachy. And it comes in 3 different color combinations.

Strappy Two Tone High Heel Sandals
And speaking of warm weather, these would make the perfect sexy spring/summer sandals, wouldn't they?  The best part is, they'd go with anything.

Karen Kane Floral Embroidered Smock Blouse
I have a couple of Karen Kane pieces that I found at Belk, one of my all-time favorite shopping spots. They almost always have some sort of sale going on.  I'd love to find this on a sale rack...

Etienne Aigner Turquoise Stretch Bracelet
I also found this there.  Turqoise is another trend that seems to be popping up all over the place right now and I just can't get enough of it.
The Casual Trench
I found this lightweight cotton trench at Chadwick's for 39.99.  It comes in 6 different colors.

Rosette Flyaway Cardigan
 $26.95 at NY&Co. and comes in 3 other colors.  Sweet!

Matte Silvertone Flower Bracelet
How is this for fancy? There's also a necklace and earrings to match but I don't like to be that matchy matchy myself.

Tribeca Studio Faux-Wrap Dress
I don't think a Spring dress gets any more perfect than this.
Patent Trim Satchel Bag
I normally gravitate more toward the hobo or shoulder bags but I'm really loving this satchel bag I spotted at Spiegel.

Miz Mooz Women's Gina Mary Jane Pump

Happy Friday, y'all!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Adventures of a Curious Toddler

When I read Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompts this week I laughed out loud when I saw this one...

What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something they shouldn’t have.

I feel quite sure I could write an entire book based on a day in the life of Dracenator the Toddler.  Oh, how I wish I had started a blog back then. 

Honestly, I knew when that child was in my womb that he was going to be something entirely different than his easygoing, never got into anything older brother.  

I couldn't sleep at night because he never stopped moving, kicking, jabbing and punching me with his knees, elbows, feet and hands.  In my 3rd trimester, I had to go for non-stress tests every couple of weeks due to my thalassemia trait, and he would literally knock the monitor off my belly every single time.  The nurses didn't know what to make of it. 

He was a fussy baby who loathed being constrained in any way and when he finally reached toddlerhood, I was a single parent, stay home mom who quite literally passed out from exhaustion each and every night. 

I found it very fitting that he loved that curious little monkey, George, so much because just like Curious George, Dracenator the Toddler was a good little monkey but always, always, very curious!

Back in September, I blogged about the flour incident in which he, in a matter of mere seconds, managed to cover my entire living room rug and furniture in a bag of white flour and then proceed to do his happy toddler dance around in it while throwing handfuls into the air and at his brother who was standing on the couch laughing to beat the band.   

Here is a list of a few more things that stand out when I allow my mind to wander back to his toddler days...

*He once took a black permanent Sharpie marker all the way down the walls of my very recently painted hallway.

*When he was learning to use the big boy toilet, he thought it would be a fun idea to pee in his empty Happy Meal bag and then hand deliver it to me, complete with a yellow trail behind him.

*He managed to get his monkey paws on and obliterate not one, not two, but three cell phones and always with water.  One went in the dog's water bowl, one went in the bathroom sink and the other took a dive into the kiddie pool.  I finally wised up and bought the insurance. Oh, and let's not forget the house phone that wound up meeting its early demise by taking a dip in the hot tub.   

*I think I also blogged about the time he rode his rocking horse down the stone front steps of the house twice within 10 minutes when he was 3. Luckily, the worst he got was a couple of scratches and a face full of dirt and grass.

*He took scissors to his own hair on 2 or 3 separate occasions.  Once so bad, he had to have a buzz cut.   

*I just posted the following picture Monday but did not go into detail about it.  You see? This wasn't an isolated event.  No.  This was the norm.  Back then I would usually put both boys in the tub together, to save time, and would get Dracen out , dried, diapered and clothed first since Devin was 4 years older and could be trusted in the tub alone for a couple of minutes.  Sometimes I would get sidetracked for a minute and would hear Devin's voice call out, "Mommm!  Dracen is back in the tub!" And I swear sometimes I cried but on this particular night, I decided that I'd laugh and take pictures instead...

*More times than I can count, he stripped down and ran through the house and sometimes out into the yard, buck naked and shrieking like a circus monkey on liquid speed.

*He has two scars on his forehead, one of which he acquired when he was 3 and attempted to bust down Devin's bedroom door.  The other required stitches and 3 hours in the ER waiting room the night before we were supposed to leave for a beach trip early the next morning. This one was due to a collision with his bed frame that he had tried to grip with his monkey toes in order to turn his t.v. up so that he could better hear what his good buddy Curious George was up to. 

Really, I think the better question here is "What didn't  my toddler get into?!"   One of his absolute favorite things to get into back then and I DO mean get into  (usually when he was tired, cranky, and didn't want to give in to that enemy called sleep) was...

the dryer....

This post is being linked up with Mama Kat at Mama's Losin' It and Jenny Matlock at Off on my tangent...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I Have a Stalker and His Name is Tuesday

Last week I told y'all about the critter that scared the living daylights out of me by making such a ruckus on my roof that I was convinced there was a man with an ax up there trying to hack his way into my house to murder me. 

He finally showed his little fuzzy, whiskered face and I had never, in all my life, been so darn glad to see a squirrel.  That happened last Tuesday and I had not seen hide nor hair of him since until he showed up again this morning. 

I heard the same  Boom Thump Scatter, Boom Thump Scatter as last week,  only this time instead of reaching for the sharpest kitchen knife I could find, I reached immediately for the Canon and I do mean Canon, as in camera, and not cannon, as in weapon of mass destruction, because number 1.   I don't own a cannon or any other such weapon and number 2. clearly y'all have gathered by now that I'm not some sort of sick psycho who goes around blowing up furry little critters with cannons.

I am now convinced that this little rodent, who will from here on out go by the name of Tuesday, seeing as how he only seems to show up on that day of the week, is a stalker.

I am serious.   Tuesday is stalking me and the Darling wieners.  He peers all creepy-like through the windows at us and challenges us to a stare down, which we always win, and then skedaddles his bushy-tailed butt back up the side of the house like Spiderman's mini-me and then shows back up on the other side of the sunroom windows to see if he can get a better view of us. 

I came back from yoga this afternoon and to my surprise, only Li'l Bit Darling greeted me at the door.  I called for Brisco Big Boy and nothing.  I walked into the living room. NothingI called him again. Nothing. 

Worry was just about to set in when I found him in the corner of the sunroom, at the window,  nose to nose with Tuesday and quivering from nose to tail.

Y'all.  I kid you not.  That thing was taunting that little wiener like it knew there was no way on God's beautiful green earth he could possibly get to him through that glass. 

Of course he scampered before I could get a good shot of that but I did manage to get this one...

And then just like last week,  Tuesday was gone with the wind...

Monday, February 21, 2011

Life with boys is messy, and sometimes funny

This morning on the drive to school, Devin and I were in the midst of a discussion about his musical taste ( I believe he needs to expand it because how could you not like Take It To The Limit?) when Dracen shouts out "Mom!"  from the backseat. 

I looked back to see blood pouring out of his nose and him desperately trying to stop it.  I, of course, could find no tissues, towels, napkins or clothing of any sort to give him and we were about to reach the school.  You'd think after being a mom as long as I have that I'd be prepared for anything but you'd apparently be wrong. 

He had, bless his heart, grabbed an empty box of Mike and Ike's that he was pressing against his nose.

Devin was beginning to look a little pale as I began shouting orders at him to find  something, anything!, to give to Dracen when I found one of my pink gloves and thrust it at him as I nearly ran the car off the road in the process. 

I pulled the car over and the bleeding stopped pretty easily.  We've been going through this with him for quite awhile now.  He was given Flonase for his allergies at his last check up that had been keeping the nosebleeds away but I suspect he may have picked at it one too many times in the last couple of weeks.

Anyway, we're sitting there in the parking lot across from the school, six minutes before the tardy bell, and Dracen has dried blood all over his face that I can't convince him to wash off with a little saliva since I had no wipes or anything else worth using to speak of in the car.  Mom Fail!  

After I tried using my own saliva, he changed his tune and got his face cleaned up real quick-like.

I think he actually wanted to go into the school like that because he seems to enjoy the whole shock factor thing.  Remember a few weeks back when I caught him trying to wear my big, fuzzy blue house socks to school? 

Well, going into the school with a bloody face would have surely topped that in his little 7 year old boy mind.  I'm sure he could have come up with all sorts of stories to go along with that one. 

His latest and greatest fun comes from piling on pair after pair of underwear and strutting around the house patting his skinny little padded backside and saying things like..."I look BUFF!" 

I find it a little difficult to be the responsible adult by killing his buzz and telling him to put those underwear back in the drawer before he gets them dirty because let's be honest, that is some pretty funny stuff. 

Several weeks ago, when we were snowed in and climbing the walls, I heard Dracen let out a big scream from the kitchen and then commence to, what sounded like, attack his brother in a fit of rage, followed by the sound of Devin cackling away like a hyena.

 "Ugghh...Will you two please let up on the brotherly love? You're driving me INSANE! What did you do to him THIS time, Devin?!"

Turns out he had video on his ipod touch documenting what he had just done and he was so proud of himself that he thought he'd share with me to explain what he had done to make his brother stage an attack on him.

I was actually going to share this video here awhile back but turns out, he had deleted it...

The video started out with a scene of Dracen's freshly toasted Eggo waffles sitting in the plate on the kitchen counter and then Devin's hand coming into view, picking up the waffle and taking a big bite of it....Then in the background you hear Dracen charging toward him, screaming like a wild banshee and then Devin laughing hysterically as the video cuts out.   

As much as I knew laughing was just going to encourage further such behavior, I could not help myself.  "Devin! That is just wrong!"  and as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I burst into laughter and then tight lipped it shut as I tried my best to lecture him on why he shouldn't tease his little brother like that.  

My life with boys may be messy, chaotic and often times stressful, but boring?  Never.

The Baby Dracenator, 2004

Friday, February 18, 2011

Fancy Friday...The color of the season and an evaluation of my numbers

I heard five little words Wednesday that I have been suspecting were coming but kept pushing it out of my mind and telling myself that it wouldn't come to that.  No way. No how. Ain't gonna happen.  Nope. 

Wanna know what those five little words were?

You (meaning me) Need. A. ROOT.CANAL!!

I'm still trying to recover from the shock.  

The dentist managed to fill my head with delusions of grandeur by telling me that we probably just needed to fix the filling that had come loose on my left bottom molar and that the pain I'd been experiencing on the top was probably just referred pain from that tooth.

Come again?

"Look, Mrs. Dentist, unless my wiring is all mixed up, I'm having pain ON THE TOP, NOT THE BOTTOM...It's coming from RIGHT THERE!" as I jabbed my finger into my left upper jaw.  

She explained to me that "referred pain" is very common and while it can't go from side to side in the mouth, it goes from top to bottom or bottom to top a lot.  

"So...does this mean I don't need a root canal?" Because I really, REALLY don't want a root canal!"  

And then she whipped out her smartass card and said...

"Oh really? Because I get patients in here all the time just begging for a root canal".

Oh NO she didn't! 

She meant to be funny, I know, and normally I'm all for a little wit and sarcastic smartassness but pardon me if my sense of humor is lacking whilst I'm sitting in a dentist chair, wearing a bib, and hearing the words root and canal being tossed around so freely-like.

She had the hygienist take one more x-ray before I left, by putting that big hard metal thingy majingy that I swear is 3 times too big for my mouth, telling me 15 times to relax, relax, my tongue and forcing me to clamp down, bringing tears to my eyes and some not so nice thoughts and words to my mind. 

I left with my little appointment card for March to fix the filling, my prescription for valium yes, I have to take valium in order to get a filling because I'm a big wuss
and high hopes that this lady knows what she's talking about with this "referred pain" theory crap. 

Then Wednesday afternoon comes and I see her office number pop up on my cell. 

"Oh crap...oh crap...this can't be good news!" 

me: "Hello?"

very friendly dental assistant: "Hello.  Is this Diane?"

me: "Umm....yes, yes it is."

dental assistant: "I'm calling to let you know that you need a root canal on that bottom tooth, number 19." 

me:  "Say what?  I'm confused.  I'm really confused.  That's not what she said.  That's not what she said at all. I don't understand.  I don't understand..."

We spent the next 10 or 15 minutes on the phone with her frantically going over my chart and trying to explain the goings on of my teeth and the fact that after reviewing my x-ray, I definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, need a root canal on number 19 and  then further informing me that she is not entirely convinced that I don't also need one on number 13 as well.  

So now I have the address and phone number of some strange endodonist man that I have not yet been able to bring myself to call. 

I'm sure he's a really nice man, just like the friendly dental assistant assured me, but in my mind he is the grim reaper and I may just need to be medicated before I'm able to talk my fingers into dialing his number and making an appointment for him to clip that awesome surgical blue bib on me and "evaluate" my numbers 13 and 19.

Blue bibs and root canals call for some serious retail therapy but since this little endodontic adventure is probably going to end up costing me my firstborn son, I'd better settle for a little fancy web surfing...

Nine West Wedge Pump
I read somewhere, I think in my new Real Simple, that orange is the color of the season and by the season, I'm assuming they meant Spring.  I can honestly say that I don't believe I've ever owned a pair of orange shoes but this pair has me wondering what in the world I've been waiting on. I must have a pair of orange wedges!  But if orange isn't your cup of tea, they also come in 5 other colors...

Lucky Brand Catalina Hoody
I know a hoody is not typically the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word 'fancy' but how cute and cheery is this? 

Medley of Turquoise Bracelet
Love it.

Time and Time Again Lace Dolman Top
I don't know what it is about lace dolman tops such as this one but I can't seem to walk away from one, or in this case, click away. I like them best paired with a nice pair of jeans.

Citrus Sea Ring
If orange is the color of the season, then this surely must be the ring of the season. According to Sundance Catalog, this stone is a carnelian and here's just a little of what they had to say about it... Many people hold carnelian dear as a stone with the ability to protect the individual, bolster confidence and generally enhance and expand the experiences of life.
I think I need this for my endodontist experience...

Martagon Sketch Halter Dress
I think this dress would look great with a cardigan and a cute pair of wedges or sandals...  Hurry up, Spring!

My fingers stopped dead on the keyboard when I came across this top and then I pouted a little when I saw it was out of stock.  I am now on the "please notify me when this thing is back in stock" list.

This orange color is really starting to grow on me because I would
carry around this orange bag I found at Banana Republic in a heartbeat.

I'm a big fan of the flowing waterfall hemmed cardigans like this one.  I've been eyeing this one for awhile now...I've never seen another one like it anywhere else.

Or how about this one I found at the Loft?  LOVE this!  I think it would look great with a pair of white capris and some colorful flats.

Nine West Loredana Flats
And speaking of flats, I really need some new ones.  I have a couple pairs by Nine West that I've been wearing for I swear 3 or 4 years now and they are just the best combination of cute and comfortable I've ever owned. 
I figured, why not go with the 'color of the season' here too?  They do, however, come in nine other colors if you still just aren't feeling the orange...including camo.  I wouldn't advise going there but to each her each her own...

Y'all have a great day!  I must, unfortunately, go place a call to an endodontist.