In My Own Backyard...

The weather has been so beautiful here this week with high temps around 70, bright blue skies and glorious colors all around.  Monday afternoon I stepped out into the backyard with Dracen, the Darlings, and the Canon and tried my best to digitally capture some of that beauty.

Close up of the leaves from a small Maple tree in the backyard...

View from the sunroom...

One of the many big, beautiful oaks that surround us on all sides...

The Darlings in action...

Weathervane atop the well house...

We threw some old squash out over the fence several weeks back and ended up with several gourds that made their way into my dining room to join the others I had already bought since I had no idea I was growing my own...

My knockout rose bush out front is still in full bloom.  If you look through the dining room window you can see it.  I love eating in there and admiring it.  This old dough bowl belonged to my great-great grandmother.  I filled it with a few of my...ahem...many wine corks and some leaves Dracen picked up a couple of weeks ago...

And speaking of Dracen, here he is making his best shot from the trampoline...

Have  you ever seen a bluer sky?  

Another shot of the maple tree...

This picture reminds me of the motto of the preschool both boys attended, "Mighty oaks from little acorns grow!"...

This holly bush grows just outside my bedroom window.  I love the look of the red berries against the orange and yellow leaves...

I'm not sure who's advising whom here but I think this is a frame worthy shot...

I love the speckles on this majestic canopy of leaves...

Kicking up some leaves with sock feet and little paws... 

This shot was taken from the front yard. It's not often I find myself with the camera in hand at the exact same moment heaven is shining its light down like this. I've always found that so magical.  It takes my breath away...

Thanks for joining me for this glimpse of how fall shows out for us here in my little neck of the woods.  I hope it puts on a good show in your neck of the woods too!   


**This post inspired by Mama Kat's writing prompt, "Fall in your neighborhood! Share some Fall pictures that capture the season in your neck of the woods." and Jenny Matlock's  Alphabe-Thursday's Letter B.

Just In Case You Ever Wondered...

Why did you start this blog?   It was a spur of the moment kind of thing.  In the beginning I thought I would just share parts of my experience with grief in hopes that someone who was going through it may stumble upon it and find some hope and comfort in my words.   I honestly never thought I'd keep it up or that it would become so much a part of me.   


Why the obsession with Dachshunds/wiener dogs?  It started with Dixie Dog who came into my life as a puppy in 1995.  I fell not only in love with her, but in love with the breed as well. Dachshunds are typically fearless little spitfires with great big personalities, despite their short little legs and small size.  I'm partial to the long haired ones but I've never met one I didn't love. 


Why don't you become a foster for one of the Dachshund rescue groups?  See last sentence of my answer to the previous question.  I've thought about this a lot and my fear is that I would not be able to part with any of the little wieners I'm fostering.  It does not take long for me to become attached to one.  


Did you always want to be a stay home mom?  No. I never thought I would be.  My mother always worked outside the home and I assumed I would do the same.  Right up through the end of my first pregnancy I had no desire to stay home full time. But everything changed the minute they placed that little baby boy in my arms.  I knew I was going to do everything in my power to get to the point where I could spend my days with him.  


Now that your boys aren't babies or preschoolers anymore, have you thought about going back to work?  Yes.  If I had not met and married Charlie, I most likely would have had to do that by now.  When we got married in 2008 Dracen would be starting kindergarten soon and I told Charlie that I supposed I would need to get a job soon but that I had no idea what kind I would get.  And he, being the wonderful man and husband he is, told me he didn't want me to get a job just for the sake of getting one...only if it was something I was truly passionate about.  And so far, I haven't been struck with that kind of passion for anything outside my family and home. 


Did you ever think of having a third child?  A girl, perhaps? I always thought I'd have just two children...A boy first and then a girl.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Devin was going to be Devin from the moment I knew I was expecting.  And I felt almost as certain that Dracen was going to be Darcy right up until that ultrasound that proved me wrong.  After it sunk in though, I was more than okay with being a mom of boys and still knew that I only wanted to have two babies.  So when I had my c-section with Dracen, I also had a tubal ligation.   Never in a million years did I imagine that I would find myself widowed in just five months' time and married five years later to a man with three  children of his own, thus making us a couple with five children between us... Four boys and one girl (Ages: 24, 22, 18, 12, & 8)!  


If you could recommend only one book (besides the Bible) to someone going through a difficult time, what book would it be?  Embraced By The Light by Betty Eadie.  The best word I can think of to describe how I finally came to read that book (published in 1992) in the year 2000 is...Serendipity.  Plain and simple.  Serendipity.   Also, not that you asked, but I think that is my absolute favorite word....Serendipity.  I love the way it rolls off my tongue and suggests something otherworldly. 


Have you always had such a strong faith in Christ?  No.  I mean, as far back as I can remember, I have believed that God exists and learned the story of Jesus at a very young age but my faith has grown and strengthened by leaps and bounds over the years.  There were times in my life when I questioned His existence and did not make time for Him in my life but I always came back.  Finally, for good.  


Can you think of one defining moment in your life (a sort of Aha moment) that solidified your faith?  Yes.  Two, actually.  The first was when I read Betty Eadie's book I mentioned above and the other came just a few days or so after we lost Darin.  I was sitting in the bathtub and was so wrought with grief that I could hardly breathe or even move.  It felt like someone was crushing my windpipe and slowing sucking my soul out through a straw.  It was the most excruciating pain I have ever known.  I struggled to even find the words to pray so I just asked Jesus to help me...to please, please help me.  And I felt Him take me in His arms and give me the strength I needed to carry on.  It's very hard to put into words what I experienced in that moment but I knew that somehow, someday, everything was going to be okay.  


What is the best advice you can give someone who is struggling with grief or some other form of pain in his/her life right now?  
Just to be gentle with yourself and to take it one day at a time...One day at a time...  Your heart will smile again and your light will shine again, only this time much brighter than you ever imagined it could.  


*This post was written for Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,  Create an FAQ page for yourself that answers frequently asked questions if people were to frequently ask you questions. People make those up all the time. YOUR TURN!   


Also linking up with Jenny Matlock for Alphabe-Thursday!  

A Phone Call I Won't Forget

I had just dropped the boys off safely at school (which was only about a mile away from my house at the time) when the phone rang.


It was Dracen's kindergarten teacher's assistant.  I have gone to church with her for years.  


I knew immediately by the tone and tremble of her voice that something was horribly wrong.  


My body began to shake, my knees turned to jello, and I literally felt the color drain from my face as I leaned over on the kitchen counter to brace myself from crashing to the hard tile floor beneath me.  


"Dracen just turned blue and passed out..." she began.  "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"  I bellowed.  


Charlie was, thankfully, home that day and as he heard my words his eyes grew big with horror and his heart seemed to skip beats as he jumped up from his seat.  


"The school nurse is with him now and we've called 911..." 


I didn't need to hear anymore... "I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" I shouted. I  slammed the phone down, grabbed my keys and bolted out of the house and down the steps with my still uncombed hair and unmade face.  


My body was shaking and my mind was running wild as I threw the car into reverse with a jerk and stomped the gas pedal to the floor board, squealing tires as I turned out of the driveway at the top of the hill.  


Though the storm door was closed, the front door was left standing wide open and my little dog, Dixie, stared in bewilderment as we disappeared out of sight.  


We ran frantically into the school and the school secretary who saw us coming, met us at the office door and motioned us on (though it would have taken five grown men to make me stop and sign in).  


Charlie ran barefooted down the hall ahead of me.  We left the house in such a rush, he had not even taken time to put on shoes.  


We had beaten the ambulance there and when we made it to the classroom, there was Dracen, conscious and talking with the school nurse.


I rushed to his side and though my heart was still racing, I could feel the color slowly begin to return to my face.  


He was okay.  My baby was okay.  I could breathe again.  


The paramedics showed up shortly after we did, gave him a little once over, found nothing obviously wrong with him and suggested we take him on to his family doctor to be checked out thoroughly.


The doctor gave him a thorough exam, complete with blood tests, and deemed him perfectly healthy.  


He had been sick a few days earlier. Nothing serious.  Just stuffy head, low fever and minor sore throat.  Though he did not test positive for strep the doctor he had seen prescribed him Amoxicillin.  


He was five years old so of course, he was no stranger to the pink stuff. But my mother's intuition was burning like a fire inside of me and practically screaming at me, 


It was the Amoxicillin!  It was the Amoxicillin! 


When I brought this up to the doctor we saw the day of this incident,  he informed me there's no way it was the Amoxicillin and to keep giving it to him.  


I said okay but that feeling wouldn't go away.  He had just taken it before leaving for school that morning and he had only been at school mere minutes when he passed out.  


Nope.  There was no way I was giving him another dose of that stuff.


I read every article and piece of information I could dig up on Amoxicillin and discovered that he had been prescribed a pretty hefty dose for a little guy his size so I called the doctor up who prescribed it and he too assured me there was just no way on God's beautiful green earth this incident was caused by that medicine.  


There aren't many things in life that get me riled up enough to initiate a heated conversation.  Normally, I will go out of my way to avoid confrontation....Mrs. Non-Confrontational at your service!.... 


But waking my mama bear will do it every.single.time.  I snapped like a Poplar branch in a windstorm and lit into that unsuspecting doctor with all the fury, wrath and might I could muster.  


I was right and I knew it...could feel it in my bones...in my gut.  


I believe a mother's intuition is a powerful tool and gift bestowed by God and I was flat pissed off that I was being blown off.  The nerve!


That phone conversation ended in me hanging up the phone on the doctor, taking about five hundred deep breaths and calling to vent my frustrations to Charlie.  


The doctor called later in an attempt to smooth things over though he continued to stand his ground about the Amoxicillin.  


I remained calm but switched to a pediatrician and have never allowed him to take the pink stuff again.  







This post was written for Mama Kat's writer's workshop  and Jenny Matlock's  Alphabe-Thursday, the Letter A.   

Talkin' Bout My Generation

I struggled a bit this week with Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday.

The letter is X.

What starts with X? Hmm...

Well, there's the Xbox that my little XY chromosomes are currently grounded from due to unacceptable behavior but since I've never actually played it myself, I didn't think I could construct an entire post based on that. 

Oh, I know!  Xerox.  I used that big, obnoxious Xerox copier daily back when I worked in an office.  Surely, I can recall a good story about that.  Um. Nope.  Not so much.  Too many years gone by, apparently, because I couldn't recall a single Xerox story worth re-telling.

Then it hit me.  Of course!  Generation X!  

So I googled it.  And while the birth years classifying someone as a Gen X-er vary from source to source, most all agree on including the years from 1965-1976. But some even say 1961-1981 and I fall  smack in the middle of that span, with a birth year of 1971.  

Here are some of the repeated words and phrases I found that are commonly associated with members of my generation X...

*"latch-key" kids
*better educated than previous generations
*Individualistic
*flexible
*divorced parents
*t.v. dinners/t.v trays
*"work to live" instead of "live to work"
*skeptical
*not easily impressed
*informal/casual
*adaptable
*realistic
*pragmatic
*eager to learn but resist being "bossed"

I have to say, while I have never given much thought to the fact that I'm a member of Generation X, I can absolutely relate to most all of those words/phrases above because just about every single one of them does apply to me.

Well, all except the "latch-key" kid.  I had to practically get down on my hands and knees and beg my mother to allow me to ride the bus home at the age of 14 and stay alone for a couple of hours until she got home from work.  Up until then, I still had to go to my "babysitter's" house after school.  And not that she wasn't a wonderful woman because she was.  I just thought 14 was entirely too old to be "babysat".  

But as far as all the others go?  Wow. I found myself nodding in agreement at almost every article I read describing a Generation X-er.  And by the way, this Generation X-er just happens to be turning 40 next month. 

Did I mention that?  Oh, only about a hundred and fifty nine times? I must've forgotten. I hear the memory is one of the first things to go. I couldn't even recall a story about the Xerox monster who gave me fits every day for 5 years back in the 90's.  

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.  Relax.  I know 40 isn't old.  Well, I guess it depends on who you ask... "Forty is the old age of youth; fifty, the youth of old age." ~Victor Hugo  Hmm...


Here are just a few of my favorite Generation X peeps who are also turning 40 this year...

John Hamm (who plays Don Draper on AMC's Mad Men) LOVE that show!  Genius.

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Amy Poehler (Hi-Larious! Love her.)

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Winona Ryder (I will always think of her as Lydia Deetz, "the weird and strange" girl in Beetlejuice)

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Mark Wahlberg (or the artist formerly known as Marky Mark!) 

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Taye Diggs ( While I watch him play Dr. Sam Bennett on Private Practice every Thursday night, I can't help but remember him as the fine young thing who gave Stella her groove back!)

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Christina Applegate (she's come a long since Kelly Bundy)

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Alternate names for my generation:

*The Reagan Generation
*The MTV Generation
*"Baby Busters" (due to the decrease in births following the baby boom)
*The 13th Generation (because it's the 13th to know the U.S. flag)


More Gen X Facts:

*The term was first used in the late 70's by the Billy Idol led punk rock band, Generation X.

*Most educated fielded U.S. military force to date.

*Often known as "Generation E" in continental Europe

*1970 had the lowest birth rate of the generation.


Attributes identified with Gen X:

~War on Drugs
~Desert Storm
~Dot-com bubble
~1980's hair bands (Bon Jovi, Motley Crue)
~Rise and fall of disco
~NYC blackout of 1977
~Punk rock
~Heavy metal
~end of the cold war
~fall of the Berlin wall
~Rap
~Iran hostage crisis
~Grunge/alternative rock bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam
~Hip hop culture
~Inception of home computer,
 video games,
 cable t.v.,
 and finally...

 the wonderful world of internet! 

And how did any of us ever survive without that?!

Unexpected Blessing

Tomorrow, March 4th, will be the one year anniversary of this blog, or as it is commonly referred to here in the blogosphere, blogoversary. One whole year since I wrote my very first Be Still A Minute post.

I am not exactly sure what gave me the idea to start a blog since I didn't follow any other blogs or know anyone else who kept a blog.  It was just a spur of the moment, let's throw some words out here and see how it goes kind of thing. 

At first I thought I'd just write about my experience with grief  in hopes that maybe someone suffering through it would read something I wrote and be helped or inspired by it, or at least just feel that they weren't alone and that there is still so much life and happiness on the other side of the storm. 

It did not take long, however, for me to realize that I really wanted to write about so much more.  This quickly became a place for me to vent my parenting frustrations and triumphs, along with just day to day life stuff that amuses, inspires, bewilders or awes me. 

I eventually ventured out and started finding other blogs to read, follow, and comment on.  I was overwhelmed with the never ending blogs written by such talented women who constantly amaze me with their writing,  photography,  decorating,  designing,  and cooking skills.


They make me laugh, cry, or just shake my head and say "Amen, sister!" on a daily basis. Just visit a few of the blogs in my blogroll and you'll see what I mean.
 
What began as an attempt for me to inspire others, has resulted in a daily dose of inspiration for me. Not only am I inspired by all of these other women, but sometimes by my own words as well. 

I have come to this blog many times, not having any idea what I was going to write about and ended up in tears or just a state of sheer satisfaction by the words that somehow, by the work of my own mind and hands, appeared on the page before me.

It, of course, doesn't always happen this way.  There have only been a handful of posts I have felt this way about and those few have all come from a place deep within my soul, from a place I don't often leave the door open to.    

Clicking on that "publish post" button is not something I take lightly.  I read over and over what I've written at least 3 times usually before I decide it is suitable for another pair of eyes to view.

My only regret is that I didn't start a blog sooner, when the boys were smaller and when I was actively grieving because I would love to have those archives at my fingertips, not only for nostalgic reasons but to see how far I've come from those dark days of grief.

I know my days of writing about the daily adventures of those two now are dangerously limited because it's just a matter of time before they discover that "Omg, mama has a blog and we're in it!"    Devin already asks every time I try to snap a shot of him, "You're not planning on putting this on facebook, are you?!" 

And my answer is always the same, "Why yes, yes, I am because you're my son and I'm your mother and it is my God given right to show off pictures of you any ol' time I want and one day you'll be glad you have these precious photos to remind you of your childhood." 

Okay, maybe I don't always say that.  It's usually more along the lines of, "You better smile like you mean it or that ipod touch is mine!" 

And you see?  That.  That little thing I'm currently using as a parenting weapon will change in a flash and chances are, I'll never remember it in a couple of years and he certainly won't. 

But maybe one day, he or Dracen will pull up the old, ancient archives of this blog, take a trip down memory lane, smile, laugh, and say something like,  "Oh, I had forgotten about that time Charlie let us pee on a fire for the first time!" or "Ha, I had forgotten about what a hard time we used to give Mom at the grocery store and how much we used to fight! Wow, we really put her through the ringer, didn't we?  I don't know how she did it!" 

I didn't expect all of this when I started blogging.  I didn't expect much of anything so what I've gotten and what I continue to get from it, can only be described as an unexpected blessing and if you ask me, that is always the very best kind. :) 



This post was inspired by Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt: What were you blogging about last year at this time? What has changed?  and Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday, The Letter U.

Adventures of a Curious Toddler

When I read Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompts this week I laughed out loud when I saw this one...

What did they get into now? Describe a time your toddler got into something they shouldn’t have.

I feel quite sure I could write an entire book based on a day in the life of Dracenator the Toddler.  Oh, how I wish I had started a blog back then. 

Honestly, I knew when that child was in my womb that he was going to be something entirely different than his easygoing, never got into anything older brother.  

I couldn't sleep at night because he never stopped moving, kicking, jabbing and punching me with his knees, elbows, feet and hands.  In my 3rd trimester, I had to go for non-stress tests every couple of weeks due to my thalassemia trait, and he would literally knock the monitor off my belly every single time.  The nurses didn't know what to make of it. 

He was a fussy baby who loathed being constrained in any way and when he finally reached toddlerhood, I was a single parent, stay home mom who quite literally passed out from exhaustion each and every night. 

I found it very fitting that he loved that curious little monkey, George, so much because just like Curious George, Dracenator the Toddler was a good little monkey but always, always, very curious!

Back in September, I blogged about the flour incident in which he, in a matter of mere seconds, managed to cover my entire living room rug and furniture in a bag of white flour and then proceed to do his happy toddler dance around in it while throwing handfuls into the air and at his brother who was standing on the couch laughing to beat the band.   

Here is a list of a few more things that stand out when I allow my mind to wander back to his toddler days...

*He once took a black permanent Sharpie marker all the way down the walls of my very recently painted hallway.

*When he was learning to use the big boy toilet, he thought it would be a fun idea to pee in his empty Happy Meal bag and then hand deliver it to me, complete with a yellow trail behind him.

*He managed to get his monkey paws on and obliterate not one, not two, but three cell phones and always with water.  One went in the dog's water bowl, one went in the bathroom sink and the other took a dive into the kiddie pool.  I finally wised up and bought the insurance. Oh, and let's not forget the house phone that wound up meeting its early demise by taking a dip in the hot tub.   

*I think I also blogged about the time he rode his rocking horse down the stone front steps of the house twice within 10 minutes when he was 3. Luckily, the worst he got was a couple of scratches and a face full of dirt and grass.

*He took scissors to his own hair on 2 or 3 separate occasions.  Once so bad, he had to have a buzz cut.   

*I just posted the following picture Monday but did not go into detail about it.  You see? This wasn't an isolated event.  No.  This was the norm.  Back then I would usually put both boys in the tub together, to save time, and would get Dracen out , dried, diapered and clothed first since Devin was 4 years older and could be trusted in the tub alone for a couple of minutes.  Sometimes I would get sidetracked for a minute and would hear Devin's voice call out, "Mommm!  Dracen is back in the tub!" And I swear sometimes I cried but on this particular night, I decided that I'd laugh and take pictures instead...

*More times than I can count, he stripped down and ran through the house and sometimes out into the yard, buck naked and shrieking like a circus monkey on liquid speed.

*He has two scars on his forehead, one of which he acquired when he was 3 and attempted to bust down Devin's bedroom door.  The other required stitches and 3 hours in the ER waiting room the night before we were supposed to leave for a beach trip early the next morning. This one was due to a collision with his bed frame that he had tried to grip with his monkey toes in order to turn his t.v. up so that he could better hear what his good buddy Curious George was up to. 

Really, I think the better question here is "What didn't  my toddler get into?!"   One of his absolute favorite things to get into back then and I DO mean get into  (usually when he was tired, cranky, and didn't want to give in to that enemy called sleep) was...

the dryer....

This post is being linked up with Mama Kat at Mama's Losin' It and Jenny Matlock at Off on my tangent...

Soaking Up The Sunroom

I just realized that I started my last two posts with "I was sitting in the sunroom when..."  and well here I go again...sitting in the sunroom trying to come up with a good  letter S post for Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday when...

Ta da!  My answer was right in front of my nose.

We moved into this house last Spring and I fell in love with the sunroom right from the start and knew without a doubt that I would be spending a big majority of my time out here.  

The walls in here, along with the walls in the foyer, hallway and living room, were all a pale yellow.  Now, not that I have anything against the color yellow.  It was, after all, my favorite color when I was little and I even had a yellow bedroom up until I was 15...

But, it was a whole lotta yellow and it wasn't my yellow...  

I had to make my mark on this place so I had the walls of the sunroom painted a soothing, serene pale turquoise a.k.a Veridian Green.   Charlie hung my old oak mantel I had used for a headboard at the old house on the wall and after months of waiting, I finally got my wicker rattan furniture I had been pining away for.  

Woods surround our backyard so there are always birds and squirrels like that little wily one I wrote about yesterday  to entertain the wieners and their favorite place to nap is out here on the ottoman or on the tile floor soaking up the bright rays of sunshine that are so abundant out here in the mornings. 

It's the perfect place to drink morning coffee, blog, read and just unwind and soak in the beauty and splendor of the changing seasons...

I've been slowly gathering items at antique and bargain stores over the past several months and just about have this room exactly the way I want it.   

I found this oil painting at an antiques mall a couple of weeks ago for 11 dollars.  It just seems so happy to me and I fell immediately in love with it though I didn't have a good idea where in my house I would put it.  I read somewhere recently that if you choose and purchase only things that you really, really love then they will fall into place and it will all work out. And I am finding that there is much truth in that...

I can keep just about any kind of animal or fish alive for extended periods of time but I am not known for my green thumb.  This ponytail palm, however, is an exception.  I guess it has a strong desire to live because my first/late husband, Darin, had it when I met him in 1994 and here it still stands today.  It has probably tripled or quadrupled in size since then and I have re-potted it at least 3 times.  I'm quite proud of it...

We were sitting out here (you see, there I go again with that) over the summer when we decided a water feature of some kind would be nice out here so I searched the stores and surfed the web high and low until I found this sweet little fountain that takes up residence under the mantel..

This bronze statue of two boys playing leapfrog was a gift from my mother-in-law, Pat, several years ago and it is one of my most prized treasures...

This Tiffany style lamp is another favorite treasure and was a birthday gift from my mother last year..

And this vintage photo just makes me smile.  It's my mother in the 1940s.  She said she had been in a Tom Thumb wedding in her small hometown of Lindale, Ga that day...

I found this hummingbird picture several months ago at an antiques store and up until a couple of weeks ago, it hung in my living room but every time I looked at it, I thought it belonged over the windows in the sunroom. 

The star sconce I've had for years, the angels came from the same antiques mall I bought that happy oil portrait from, the little reading monkey fella came from HomeGoods, and the tin jug thing?? I found that little treasure in the basement of my old house...something Darin had found someplace and I've not an inkling as to what it is.  If anyone has any clue, please feel free to enlighten me...

The following pictures were taken on Christmas Day during the snowfall that brought my very first white Christmas ever!  I was over the moon...

And that, my friends, concludes your tour for today.  What about you?  Do you have a favorite spot?