There are absolutely no perfect words at a time like this. Only love, support and prayer. And lots of it.
I didn't think I could come here today and carry on with my 31 Days of Everyday Magic but then I heard a quiet whisper from God reminding me that it is in times like this, we (his children) most need to seek it out. So here I am, on this fourth day, with my humble attempt to do so.
Who knows why things like this continue to happen. I know well enough that we can just about drive ourselves insane if we spend our time and energy trying to make any sort of sense out of it. I also know that, as Psalm 34:18 tells us, the Lord is closest to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
My hope and my prayer is that these newly crushed and grieving mothers (and families) will feel His holy presence and love in the deepest, most intimate way imaginable and that through it they will find the strength, hope and comfort needed to carry them through the darkness, one day at a time.
While I have not lost a child, I have experienced tragedy and loss in a very intense way and what keeps coming back to me now is a moment, a holy moment, I was graced with in the early hours of my grief that I attempted to convey through words of a poem I wrote about a year after it happened.
I am sharing it again here today because I cannot think of anything more magical than that which I felt on that night all those years ago.
My very soul was wilting away...
could barely muster the energy to breathe
I did not want to carry on here...
just wanted to be at peace
The moment I was alone,
the grief smothered and left me weak,
I was defeated by its asperity,
unable to wipe the tears from my cheek
Those tears felt like hot lava
and my heart like a molten rock
I felt trapped inside my own body ,
with no key to that forceful lock
I wanted to break away
from the shackles binding me
Desperate for alleviation...
just wanted to be free
My naivete had been dissolved
and my nerves were left exposed
I just could not conceive it....
how suddenly that door had closed
My spirit felt despondent
I had reached the moment of truth
So I prayed with all I had left
and now I'm living proof...
Living proof of what He can do
I prayed to Christ for help
and instantly it was given me
for His Loving Arms I felt
Words could never do It justice,
this Heavenly Embrace I received,
but a warm tranquility came over me...
A Love greater than I'd ever perceived
I was given just enough solace
to inspire me and give me the hope
I needed to continue on here...
I now knew I could cope
So if you ever find yourself facing
a storm you don't think you can bear,
remember to ask Him for guidance...
And my friend, He'll always be there
Please keep these families in your prayers,