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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Writer's Workshop...My man list

Mama Kat had some really great prompts this week and I debated over a few of them, finally settling on number 1) The Love List.  Write a list of 50 things you look for in a man.  

Just to clear things up, I am married and therefore, no longer looking for a man since I have one and all.  But, as most of you who know me or who have read my blog much are aware of the fact that I lost my first husband and father of my boys in an accident at the end of 2003.  My boys were 4 years old and 5 months old at the time. 

I grieved and I grieved hard but there came a time when I felt ready, or as ready as I ever thought I'd get, to date again.  Having two young children certainly changed the playing field and it was a whole different ballgame than I remembered from 11 years earlier. 

So here you have it, the 50 things I was looking for in my man...

1. A great sense of humor.  Life can be tough and trying at times which is why the ability to laugh and make others me laugh is so important.  Like Jimmy Buffet say, "if we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane!". 

2. A fondness for children, for obvious reasons.

3.  A love (or at least a like) of animals, especially dogs, cause y'all know how I love my dogs.

4.  A good J-O-B.  Just keepin' it real here.  I wasn't looking for a Bill Gates or a Donald Trump but a man with a certain amount of success was attractive to me.

5.  I'm a Christian and my faith is a huge part of my life and of who I am so a man who shared my belief and faith in Christ was absolutely necessary in my eyes. 

6.  A love for travel.  I have huge aspirations of seeing the world, or at least a big part of it, before I die so obviously, he couldn't be a homebody.

7.  Non-smoker cause smoking flat grosses me out.

8.  A backbone.  I've never been attracted to a man who allows anyone, me included (not that I would try but you know what I mean), to walk all over him.  We've all seen the hen-pecked husband and it ain't pretty.

9.  Self-confident.  I think this one speaks for itself.

10. NOT metro.  Not that I have anything against a man who is metrosexual but just not attracted to the type.  I wanna look prettier than my man when we go out, if you know what I mean.

11. An extrovert.  I'm not one and I have never had the gift of gab; therefore, I've always found myself attracted to someone more outgoing than myself.  It's that whole "opposites attract" thing I guess.

12. Adventurous, or at least a little more adventurous than me.  I like to be challenged on occasion.  

13. Ability to manage money well and with a healthy balance.

14.  NOT obsessed with sitting on the couch watching ballgame after ballgame or even worse, playing video games.  

15.  An appreciation for all some things beautiful.  Now I'm not talking lace doilies and petticoats here but I wanted someone who would actually have an opinion on what color I'm painting the bedroom, the dress I'm wearing, or the picture I'm hanging over the mantel.   

16.  An appreciation and love for nature.

17.  A love of water, especially the ocean, cause I have a pretty intense love for it myself.

18.  Handyman skills.  Always found a man who knows his way around a drill, a skill saw and a tire jack attractive probably because I don't have a clue how to use any of those things myself and I just think men are supposed to know how to fix things.  Call me old fashioned if you want. 

19.  A smarty pants.  Nothing sexier than a man with a brain he knows how to use.

20.  Admits when he's wrong.  When you are dating someone new and still getting to know each other and the conversation turns to past relationships and all the reasons he gives as to why each relationship did not work have to do with the other person and never any fault of his own, RUN! It's just a matter of time before you become the "crazy" ex.

21.  Honesty.  If you sense dishonesty (or even just a non-disclosure of the whole truth) early in the relationship, beware.

22. Good relationships with his parents/family members.  I believe this speaks volumes about a person.

23.  Has long-term friendships.  Shows the ability to form lasting ties and to stick things out.

24.  Makes me a priority.  Nothing hurts more than feeling like you are way down on the list of priorities of someone you love.

25. Does "little" things like leaving a note on the kitchen counter or giving flowers or a card for no special reason.

26. Selflessness on occasion.  Loving someone sometimes means doing things you really don't want to do but do them anyway because you know how much they mean to the one you love.

27. Makes me feel beautiful even when I'm wearing old sweat pants, no makeup, and haven't lifted a finger to fix my hair.

28. Reliable.  He calls when he says he'll call and shows up when he says he'll show up.

29.  Trustworthy.  You never get those tingly spidey senses that something just ain't right.

30. Passionate.  Apathy is not an attractive quality.

31. Knows how to compromise cause we all know there's a lot of give and take in relationships and life in general.

32. Good at surprises.  I love a good surprise!

33. Has a protective nature.  No woman wants a man who's gonna hide in the linen closet when she hears a strange sound outside.

34. Knows how to take charge but is not a bossy ass about it.

35. Is humble, because in my eyes, humility is an admirable quality.

36. Doesn't push my buttons when it's not safe to push them. I know y'all know what I'm talkin' about.

37. Is a big kid at heart.

38. Never makes me feel that my ideas and opinions are silly or foolish.

39. Doesn't bathe himself in cologne or after shave before he leaves the house.

40.  Not above or afraid to clean up vomit or poo cause these things sometimes happen when you have kids and pets.

41. Understands and supports the fact that women (especially those with destructive fighting boys children) sometimes need "me" or "girlfriends" time. 

42.  Agrees with me that golf is the most boring bad habit  sport on the planet.
43.  Says things like, "you look GOOD in that dress!" and "where's the lotion? somebody needs a foot rub."!

44. Pretends to be interested when I tell him all about the good deals I found at the outlet, even if he is a bad actor.

45.  Thinks everything I cook is the bomb even if all I did was follow the directions on the box.

46. Is not annoyed by my little quirks and even thinks they're "cute".

47. Takes my car in for service although I am completely capable of taking it myself.

48. Never walks through a door in front of me or any other woman. In other words, he's a gentleman.

49. Talks to babies and puppies.

50. Doesn't whine like a baby when he's sick or hurt.  Cause there ain't nothin' worse than a whiney man.  And y'all know I'm right. 

 We will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary on Monday.  Happy Anniversary, C! 

Now go visit Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin' It.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. We have so many things in common when looking for a man (well, when we were looking anyways!)...but the list is almost the same as mine would be if I made one! My #1 is sense of humor for sure...and I love a smarty pants myself ;)

  2. I'll second these also. I chose to do this one also this week, lol.

  3. I am so thrilled that you found what you were looking for! Beautiful list.

    Tonya (Letters For Lucas) stopping by from Mama Kat's

  4. So very grateful you were able to find two men who fit this description. Some people don't get that blessing.

    Praying you will have many, many more anniversaries:)

  5. Just found your blog! Love it!!! Think you have a great list there and so happy you found a good man to help you raise your boys! God is so good to us!!!


  6. I imagine that you are an inspiration for people who have just lost a loved one that there is life again and you can find love again. Blessings to you on taking a chance on love and happiness again. I'm sure it wasn't easy to get there but the universe blessed you again.