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Monday, November 26, 2012

Is this a Christmas list or an illegal weapons list?

I can't remember exactly what was on my Christmas wish list the year I turned nine years old but I'm guessing it was something like a new pair of roller skates,  maybe some Jordache jeans, whatever doll was popular in 1980 and maybe one of those amazing little Rubik's Cube things everyone was talking about that year.  One thing I am certain about, however, is that there was absolutely nothing on my list that could have been considered inappropriate, unattainable or dangerous.  I guess I was what you'd call a realist.  Even way back then.  

My nine year old boy child? Is not.

He has made three wish lists this year, the first one as soon as he took off his Morphsuit on Halloween.  It got misplaced so he made another one but I came across it over the weekend so now I have both of them, plus one that was supposed to be a revised list.

This is list number one...
You can't see all of number six in the photo but that last part says "exploding bullets".  I don't even want to know what those are used for.  

After he lost that list he set out to make another one, after I had encouraged him to be realistic and tone it down a bit.  

This is what he came up with...

In case you can't make it out...

1. Single Shot 22 rifle
2. Custom balanced throwing axe 
3. Full sized throwing knives
4. Shinwa Samiri Sword sharp on each side
5. 30 F.P.s. 14 inch dart gun not blow dart 
6. rattlesnake boots

My reply went something like this...

"Umm...Hmm......Nuh uh... Whut tha?...I don't even know what this is!  Or THIS! ... Not!...Definitely NOT!....Oh HECK NO!!  Child, have you lost your mind?  Because THIS list will NOT be happening! Not this year or any other year.  If I ordered this stuff, which I most definitely am not, I would be placed on the terrorist watch list!  And  Santa Claus would be handcuffed and locked away for all eternity for delivering it to you! You need to make another list or you will just get what you get this year."  

So last night he sat down and came up with yet a third list...

When I questioned him about number 4, Zipline, he explained to me that we could have it in the backyard, coming off from the top of the roof.  Oh, of course.  What was I thinking?

As you can see, there are still weapons on the list but it appears as though he now can't decide whether he wants to go to war or open a concession stand.  Or maybe he's planning to serve refreshments at his knife throwing act.  That could explain why he wants the rattlesnake boots (part of his costume)...
I think I'll just get him a Rubik's Cube.  

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  1. I love it! Based on the kinds of 'toys' his dad likes, I'm sure my little guy will have a similar list when he gets older. Why do boys have to be so...challenging? Lol.

  2. The boots seem to be pretty important to him since they appear on three lists. So that sounds like a good choice.

    I didn't have boys so I don't understand any of this.

  3. OMG, terrorist watch list! I'm dying!
    I think you nailed it, he is definitely planning a knife throwing act.
    Um, watch your back.........

  4. Oh my gosh, he has some battles in mind! That is hilarious in what the heck kind of way! LOL!!!!

  5. Oh. My. RAttlesnake..this is hilarious. My 3 year old wants a cardboard box. I think santa may just be able to accomidate that gift this year.

  6. Haha!

    I saw an iPhone 5 on the list. I want one too!

  7. Well...he seems to really want the snakeskin boots:)

    As for the zip line, tell him about the girl from GA who has had some serious infections and loss of limbs from bacteria that she contracted from a home made zip line....I'm just saying.

    Have fun with the rest of that:)

    My son makes lists like I'm Bill Gates and can afford the world. He knows it's me and not the big guy in the red suit.

  8. This is hysterical! Mine haven't made lists yet. I need to get on that!

  9. The last list does look like a Traveling Show Starter Kit.

  10. I'm thinking those rattlesnake boots need to be under the tree seeing as how they made all 3 lists. Good luck, I think you're gonna need it! Ha.