Why did you start this blog? It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. In the beginning I thought I would just share parts of my experience with grief in hopes that someone who was going through it may stumble upon it and find some hope and comfort in my words. I honestly never thought I'd keep it up or that it would become so much a part of me.
Why the obsession with Dachshunds/wiener dogs? It started with Dixie Dog who came into my life as a puppy in 1995. I fell not only in love with her, but in love with the breed as well. Dachshunds are typically fearless little spitfires with great big personalities, despite their short little legs and small size. I'm partial to the long haired ones but I've never met one I didn't love.
Why don't you become a foster for one of the Dachshund rescue groups? See last sentence of my answer to the previous question. I've thought about this a lot and my fear is that I would not be able to part with any of the little wieners I'm fostering. It does not take long for me to become attached to one.
Did you always want to be a stay home mom? No. I never thought I would be. My mother always worked outside the home and I assumed I would do the same. Right up through the end of my first pregnancy I had no desire to stay home full time. But everything changed the minute they placed that little baby boy in my arms. I knew I was going to do everything in my power to get to the point where I could spend my days with him.
Now that your boys aren't babies or preschoolers anymore, have you thought about going back to work? Yes. If I had not met and married Charlie, I most likely would have had to do that by now. When we got married in 2008 Dracen would be starting kindergarten soon and I told Charlie that I supposed I would need to get a job soon but that I had no idea what kind I would get. And he, being the wonderful man and husband he is, told me he didn't want me to get a job just for the sake of getting one...only if it was something I was truly passionate about. And so far, I haven't been struck with that kind of passion for anything outside my family and home.
Did you ever think of having a third child? A girl, perhaps? I always thought I'd have just two children...A boy first and then a girl. I knew without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Devin was going to be Devin from the moment I knew I was expecting. And I felt almost as certain that Dracen was going to be Darcy right up until that ultrasound that proved me wrong. After it sunk in though, I was more than okay with being a mom of boys and still knew that I only wanted to have two babies. So when I had my c-section with Dracen, I also had a tubal ligation. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would find myself widowed in just five months' time and married five years later to a man with three children of his own, thus making us a couple with five children between us... Four boys and one girl (Ages: 24, 22, 18, 12, & 8)!
If you could recommend only one book (besides the Bible) to someone going through a difficult time, what book would it be? Embraced By The Light by Betty Eadie. The best word I can think of to describe how I finally came to read that book (published in 1992) in the year 2000 is...Serendipity. Plain and simple. Serendipity. Also, not that you asked, but I think that is my absolute favorite word....Serendipity. I love the way it rolls off my tongue and suggests something otherworldly.
Have you always had such a strong faith in Christ? No. I mean, as far back as I can remember, I have believed that God exists and learned the story of Jesus at a very young age but my faith has grown and strengthened by leaps and bounds over the years. There were times in my life when I questioned His existence and did not make time for Him in my life but I always came back. Finally, for good.
Can you think of one defining moment in your life (a sort of Aha moment) that solidified your faith? Yes. Two, actually. The first was when I read Betty Eadie's book I mentioned above and the other came just a few days or so after we lost Darin. I was sitting in the bathtub and was so wrought with grief that I could hardly breathe or even move. It felt like someone was crushing my windpipe and slowing sucking my soul out through a straw. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever known. I struggled to even find the words to pray so I just asked Jesus to help me...to please, please help me. And I felt Him take me in His arms and give me the strength I needed to carry on. It's very hard to put into words what I experienced in that moment but I knew that somehow, someday, everything was going to be okay.
What is the best advice you can give someone who is struggling with grief or some other form of pain in his/her life right now?
Just to be gentle with yourself and to take it one day at a time...One day at a time... Your heart will smile again and your light will shine again, only this time much brighter than you ever imagined it could.
*This post was written for
Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,
Create an FAQ page for yourself that answers frequently asked questions if people were to frequently ask you questions. People make those up all the time. YOUR TURN!
Also linking up with Jenny Matlock for Alphabe-Thursday!
