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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Just In Case You Ever Wondered...

Why did you start this blog?   It was a spur of the moment kind of thing.  In the beginning I thought I would just share parts of my experience with grief in hopes that someone who was going through it may stumble upon it and find some hope and comfort in my words.   I honestly never thought I'd keep it up or that it would become so much a part of me.   


Why the obsession with Dachshunds/wiener dogs?  It started with Dixie Dog who came into my life as a puppy in 1995.  I fell not only in love with her, but in love with the breed as well. Dachshunds are typically fearless little spitfires with great big personalities, despite their short little legs and small size.  I'm partial to the long haired ones but I've never met one I didn't love. 


Why don't you become a foster for one of the Dachshund rescue groups?  See last sentence of my answer to the previous question.  I've thought about this a lot and my fear is that I would not be able to part with any of the little wieners I'm fostering.  It does not take long for me to become attached to one.  


Did you always want to be a stay home mom?  No. I never thought I would be.  My mother always worked outside the home and I assumed I would do the same.  Right up through the end of my first pregnancy I had no desire to stay home full time. But everything changed the minute they placed that little baby boy in my arms.  I knew I was going to do everything in my power to get to the point where I could spend my days with him.  


Now that your boys aren't babies or preschoolers anymore, have you thought about going back to work?  Yes.  If I had not met and married Charlie, I most likely would have had to do that by now.  When we got married in 2008 Dracen would be starting kindergarten soon and I told Charlie that I supposed I would need to get a job soon but that I had no idea what kind I would get.  And he, being the wonderful man and husband he is, told me he didn't want me to get a job just for the sake of getting one...only if it was something I was truly passionate about.  And so far, I haven't been struck with that kind of passion for anything outside my family and home. 


Did you ever think of having a third child?  A girl, perhaps? I always thought I'd have just two children...A boy first and then a girl.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Devin was going to be Devin from the moment I knew I was expecting.  And I felt almost as certain that Dracen was going to be Darcy right up until that ultrasound that proved me wrong.  After it sunk in though, I was more than okay with being a mom of boys and still knew that I only wanted to have two babies.  So when I had my c-section with Dracen, I also had a tubal ligation.   Never in a million years did I imagine that I would find myself widowed in just five months' time and married five years later to a man with three  children of his own, thus making us a couple with five children between us... Four boys and one girl (Ages: 24, 22, 18, 12, & 8)!  


If you could recommend only one book (besides the Bible) to someone going through a difficult time, what book would it be?  Embraced By The Light by Betty Eadie.  The best word I can think of to describe how I finally came to read that book (published in 1992) in the year 2000 is...Serendipity.  Plain and simple.  Serendipity.   Also, not that you asked, but I think that is my absolute favorite word....Serendipity.  I love the way it rolls off my tongue and suggests something otherworldly. 


Have you always had such a strong faith in Christ?  No.  I mean, as far back as I can remember, I have believed that God exists and learned the story of Jesus at a very young age but my faith has grown and strengthened by leaps and bounds over the years.  There were times in my life when I questioned His existence and did not make time for Him in my life but I always came back.  Finally, for good.  


Can you think of one defining moment in your life (a sort of Aha moment) that solidified your faith?  Yes.  Two, actually.  The first was when I read Betty Eadie's book I mentioned above and the other came just a few days or so after we lost Darin.  I was sitting in the bathtub and was so wrought with grief that I could hardly breathe or even move.  It felt like someone was crushing my windpipe and slowing sucking my soul out through a straw.  It was the most excruciating pain I have ever known.  I struggled to even find the words to pray so I just asked Jesus to help me...to please, please help me.  And I felt Him take me in His arms and give me the strength I needed to carry on.  It's very hard to put into words what I experienced in that moment but I knew that somehow, someday, everything was going to be okay.  


What is the best advice you can give someone who is struggling with grief or some other form of pain in his/her life right now?  
Just to be gentle with yourself and to take it one day at a time...One day at a time...  Your heart will smile again and your light will shine again, only this time much brighter than you ever imagined it could.  


*This post was written for Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,  Create an FAQ page for yourself that answers frequently asked questions if people were to frequently ask you questions. People make those up all the time. YOUR TURN!   


Also linking up with Jenny Matlock for Alphabe-Thursday!  





21 comments:

  1. Beautiful advice.

    We recently adopted a chiweenie. He is such a special little dog. Never thought I'd own any form of dachshund but I swear everyone who meets him falls in love with him. He is a hoot and I am smitten!

    Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

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  2. You have some great wisdom to share, I would definitely send someone to your blog if they were grieving.

    There is a place in Ponca City, OK called the Dixie Dog. Best Corn Dog Ever.

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  3. thanks for sharing such wonderful words

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  4. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and I can't imagine having lost your husband so young.

    Having said that, I can see that you have used your loss to grow in strength and wisdom.

    Thanks.

    =)

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  5. Wow, this was truly a nice read and it was so nice to get to know you through this post. I'm pretty certain this is my first visit, but I am compelled to sign on as your newest GFC. You're an inspiration my friend. God bless!

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  6. What a beautiful testimony of God's goodness!

    My sissy has Amos, a wiener dog ... he's a cutie, but a stinker all wrapped up in one crazy pooch!

    Thanks for stopping by Snapshots! :)

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  7. Your post brings tears to my eyes. It is so hard to let go and let our lives unfold. With 4 adopted, I say chosen, children and the suicide of our son, I have learned that we are not in control. I thank God for his walking beside me through life with all its joys and heartbreaks. I love that you share your family and your faith through your blog. You bring hope and joy to all your readers and what a blessing your words will be to your children forever.

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  8. Lovely and profound words, Thank you for visiting and sharing.

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  9. You are a gift writer:) I love reading about your life.

    I'm a cat girl myself!

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  10. People ask me all the time if I want any more kids.

    Truth is, I just knew I was done when Youngest came. And when things worked out with Tony, I actually started looking forward to a life of AFTER the kids grew up.

    Kind of a full circle thing. :)

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  11. This is a very beautiful and touching post. As others have already said, you are indeed a wonderful writer. So glad yours was one I got to read this week. Thank you for your vulnerability. What a blessing it is to others.

    (from Alphabet Thursday)

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  12. Wow. As this is my first visit to your blog, I feel almost like an intruder...and yet, your words were very moving. Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts. Nice to meet you!

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  13. Great post. I love the idea. I may have to borrow it!

    It's nice to know just a little bit more about you. Thanks.

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  14. Your Aha moment brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad He was there when you needed him most.

    I still miss being a SAHM. I do like my job, but I won't lie, I wish I'd meet my Mr. Right so I didn't have to work full time. Thankfully, I'm wise enough not to settle. :)

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  15. Hi Diane. Thank you for stopping by my blog.

    I really enjoyed this post. It seems we have a couple of things in common- our love for God and for dogs!

    I'm your newest follower. Please stop by again and visit. :)

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  16. Isn't life grand? Sounds like you've been through a lot and have come out graced in throughout! Thanks for sharing:-)

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  17. lots of thoughtful answers. So nice to know that your family grew and continued after difficult times. {:-Deb

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  18. great Advice
    Awesome post
    ~victoria~

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  19. I loved this post. The last one really resonated with me.

    Just thoughtul and thought provoking and beautiful.

    Thanks for linking up.

    A+

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