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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm Not Worried....Okay, maybe just a little

I've talked before about my worry wart nature, the one that became ten times worse after I became a mom and then probably 20 to 30 times worse after losing a husband in an accident.  I try not to.  Really, I do. I pray about it.  I try to turn things over to God.  But still, I worry.  I'm a worrier.  

So when I just saw a facebook status by Real Simple asking readers what they've stopped worrying about as parents, I felt the urge to write this post. Because while I am still a huge worrier, there are some things that I have managed to give up worrying over in regards to my sons.   

Here are just a few that come to mind...

~The fact that Devin wants to wear shorts 365 days of the year.  Okay, I haven't completely let this one go but I no longer worry myself to death over whether or not he's going to get cold and what kind of mother people are going to think I am for letting him wear them when it's only 50 something degrees outside.  

~That every croupy cough or fever they get is something serious and potentially fatal.  

~That making weapons out of everything from construction paper to coat hangers means they are going to grow up to be murderous psychopaths.  It's just what boys do.  That whole Y chromosome thing, ya know?  

~That I'm not bestowing enough wisdom and life lessons upon them.  Actions speak louder than words and while I'm nowhere near perfect, I try my best to set good examples.  

~The fact that I'm not ever going to be a June Cleaver kind of mom.  I can't sew, rarely cook anything from scratch, and leave the beds unmade more often than not.  But I always make it to their ballgames, awards ceremonies and field trips/school parties.  Well, at least Dracen's.  Devin is way too cool to have mom tag along on his field trips now.  And I've quit worrying about that too.  

~About whether or not Dracen is going to school with magic marker tattoos on his arms or in this morning's case, all the way around his ankles.  There was a time when I would have been frantically trying to scrub that off before time to leave for school.  But today?  Today I just laughed it off and told him to have a good day as he ran up the driveway to catch the bus, while carrying his shoes!  

~That they argue with each other too much.  Okay, I didn't say it has stopped driving me insane because it most definitely has not. But I no longer worry about whether or not they really love each other because I know that while they fight like cats and dogs, neither of them would know what to do without the other one.  


I will now refrain from making a list of all the many things I still worry about as a parent because that list is neverending.  I don't really believe it's possible to ever completely stop worrying about our children.  

Devin heard the term "helicopter parent" awhile back and now every time I tell one of them to be careful or stop doing something before they get hurt, he looks at me and whispers, 
Helicopter parent.  But I am so not.  

I don't hover. 

Okay, sometimes maybe I do.  But it's only for their own good!

So what about you?  What parenting worries have you managed to let go of?




  1. I've stopped worrying...for the most part... about what may or may not be growing under my son's bed.

  2. I have learned to stop worrying about...NOTHING! This is something I SERIOUSLY need to work on (just ask my husband! ;)) I'm a worrier by nature (and I've been like this ever since I can remember) but I didn't know TRULY what the term "worrier" meant until I became a mom. My husband always says, "Stop worrying. Give it to God." etc. and I get that, but still, I can't! :)

    Thanks for this post which will HOPEFULLY serve as a reminder that I need to work on this! :)

  3. I've stopped worrying about packing "healthy lunches". I've stopped worrying about what clothes they wear. Those people who's children wear perfectly matched clothes and cute hair bows can judge me if they want. Their children are compliant and I'm really happy for them:)Mine are not! I've stopped worrying about being on time to stuff. It's just not a part of who we are.

    I've stopped worrying about a lot of silly things but try to remind myself that it's the heart issue that matters. Where is their heart with the Lord?

    The weather still freaks me out, though. I admit it.

  4. I've stopped worrying about a lot of things, mainly because I need to pick my battles too. I stopped worrying over the clothes my daughter wears to school, she will figure it out one day. I stopped worrying that people will think I'm a bad mom because I give my kids Pogo sticks in their lunches once in a while. I stopped worrying when they play in the mud...most of the time. Usually it's just the superficial things as I will probably worry about everything else for the rest of their lives.

  5. I was born and bred a worry wart. Oy....

  6. Your post reminded me of what my gyn told me right after my son was born. (My son was a 5 week preemie, and had to be transported to the children's hospital an hour+ away.) My gyn walked in my hospital room and caught me crying. I told him I was worried about my baby. He said: "well, you worried about him before he was born. And you're going to worry about him until the day you die".

    He can't know how many times I've thought about that over the years!

    Great post!!

  7. Oh, the gun thing- my boys do that, too!

  8. OK, how much do I LOVE that Devin is whispering 'helicopter parent' to you?!! What a trip. What have I stopped worrying about? Uhm. . . socks must match (they sell them mismatched now, so how incredibly cool and ahead of the time am I??), dinner must be a 3 course meal and NOT a second breakfast (who doesn't love 'brinner'?), and that all parents must like me. But for every worry I've given up I've gained one, I think. :)

  9. I've definitely learned to choose my battles. The older they get, the more you realize which battles are worth fighting.

    The fact that you're there and attending things that are important to them, etc. is FAR more important than being June Cleaver!

  10. I worry that something will happen to the kids. This world is a crazy one these days...

    I'm not worried about the June Cleaver thing. It would have freaked me out to have a parent like that.

  11. Oh, I've stopped worrying about almost everything. With the fibro diagnosis I try to conserve energy where I can and worrying was one of the first things to go out the window. Also, I have a very poor memory and that helps a lot.