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Friday, September 24, 2010

Just Call me Blondie

I finished my blog post yesterday, tore myself away from reading other blogs and got my happy butt all ready to go to zumba...

Water bottle? Check.
Crackberry? Check. 
Sunglasses? Check.
Purse? Check.
Make sure the door's locked? Check.
Keys? huh? what?  NO!  Noooo!!!  S@&*#!!!!!

Phone conversation:
Charlie:  Hello? 
me:  Hey.  Ummm..where are you?
Charlie: I'm almost to the office (the "office" is about 50 minutes from the house)
me:  S@*#! I've locked myself out of the house!!  And I KNOW I locked all the doors. I'm sure of it. And I never got around to giving anyone else a key to the house. (we moved in April)
Charlie: turning around.  Be there in about 45 minutes!

I hang up the phone and decide to go around and just double check the glass doors on the deck.  Holy Crap!  The one to the kitchen is unlocked.  YES!!!  YES!!! 

I walk in, close the door behind me.  Lock it.  Grab the crackberry and start dialing Charlie back as I'm making my way back to the garage door...talking to him, telling him it's all cool...he can turn around and head back toward the office...Careful, Careful, the door's up...don't let Brisco "Bolter" Darling out...okay.  Good.  Back in the garage, the doors are all locked.  Get in the car...I can still make it in time...there's time.

OMG!!!  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!!!  Deep breaths, Deeeep Breaths!!!!!!!!

Yes. Yes, I did just walk back out of the house, lock ALL the doors this time and leave my keys hanging right on that hook beside the door.   

Phone conversation:
Charlie: Hello?
me: You are going to have to commit me!
Charlie:  Why?  What's wrong?
Diane: I JUST WALKED BACK OUT OF THE HOUSE WITHOUT MY KEYS!!!!  I LOCKED THEM ALLLL THIS TIME.. FOR SURE!

{about 5 awkward seconds of silence...}

Charlie:  And you're sure you locked the door?
Diane:  YES!!  I'M SURE!  I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!  WHAT  THE EFF IS WRONG WITH ME?!!! 
Charlie:  Bless your heart.  I'm turning back around.

I spent the next 45 minutes pacing, working out with my old pair of hand weights I found in the garage, sweating (cause it was 90 degrees!) cussing, pacing some more, checking my crackberry and making the dogs bark like mad by peering in the window at them. 

Thank God for an understanding, compassionate husband who never once reinforced my insistence that I was completely LOSING my mind as he so gallantly rescued me from my blonde moment of the year. 

9 comments:

  1. Linked here from Ron's blog. Read your comments and liked them, so linked over.

    Funny post! I had a similar incident with keys to my office recently. Won't detail it all here, but you have given me an idea for a blog post about it! Thanks. wb

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  2. This just made my day. I'm glad to know I'm not the only person in the world this happens to.

    I am Fickle Cattle.

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  3. Oh, that cracks me up. Sounds like something I would do. Your husband sounds so nice. My would have hoo'ed and hawed a little.

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  4. LOL it's never hood when someone answers with "bless your heart" :)

    Happy weekend!

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  6. Bwhahahahahahaha! That is hilarious! At least you still got your workout in, right? Right?!

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  9. oh gawd, this is SO something i'd do. your husband is like mine too...i'm turning around. ha.

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