|Where we love is home, |
Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.
~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr
Monday, we meet again. I hope you will bring on some motivation and productivity. Yesterday's dreary, stormy weather sucked it all right outta me. I had the laziest day I could have possibly managed.
Didn't even make it to church...shame on me.
Tomorrow is the big day...closing day! We walked through the house Friday night since it is now empty and I am excited about having so much more space but I have to admit, it is going to be somewhat hard on me to leave this little house of mine.
I began packing some boxes Saturday and realized that I have lived in this place longer than any other. I first walked through the door in April of 1994, on my 23rd birthday, having no idea at the time that this would ever be my home and much less for so many years.
If these walls could talk...
These walls have seen some of my happiest days and greatest moments of joy as well as the lowest and most sorrowful days of my life.
I have loved here, lost here, laughed and cried here. It was inside these walls that I took the call that offered me my first real job, along with both tests that told me I was going to be a mother.
I look back to that day, 16 years ago, and I can clearly see that naive young lady I was. If I could travel back in time and talk to her, this is what I would say...
You are about to begin a new chapter of your life. You are graduating from college in a month and this young man named Darin you are about to meet here is going to become your husband in 3 years. Your very first puppy of your own will come into your life in 18 months and you will call her Dixie. She will bring you much joy and unconditional love for 14 years.
In a little over 5 years you are going to give birth to a beautiful baby boy named Devin. When he is around 2, he and Darin will give you another little Dachshund puppy and you will call him Dexter. Two years later, God will bless you with another precious baby boy. You will name him Dracen.
You are going to be one richly blessed young woman with much love and happiness in your life but you must be very strong in your faith and trust in the Lord with all of your heart for you are going to experience some pretty big storms in your life.
You will become a young widow at the age of 32 and 9 months after that, your little Dexter Dog is going to become sick and though you will do everything in your power to help him get better, he will die a young dog. I know you have the strength and the faith to carry you through all the grief coming your way and I want you to know that you will rise above it.
You will get mad at God and you will shout at Him but He can take it because He understands you, loves you, and knows your pain. You will also learn to trust in Him and lean on Him in a way that you never have before. You are going to grow as a person and in your faith tremendously as a result and you will know much more love and happiness again in your life.
You will eventually start dating again and you'll have more heartache but you will not let it discourage you...You will meet a man named Charlie at the end of 2006 and you will marry him a year and a half later. He will love you very much and will always be there for you when you need him most.
Your time with Dixie Dog will come to an end in September, 2009 and you will grieve again but your faith is stronger now and you know that life is precious and short so you will adopt two more little Dachsies who need a good home a month later and they will fill your heart with joy again.
The time will come when you and your family will leave this place and it will be a very exciting time in your life but it will also be a little tough to say goodbye to these walls you've called home for so many years.
You will keep this house though in hopes of finding a nice family to live here for awhile. You will pray that one day maybe one of your children or grandchildren will want to live here so that you can tell them your beautiful story of love, loss and growth that took place within these walls...