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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Yeah, I said that.


I don't know what other moms may or may not have caught themselves saying to their kids but I suspect most all of us have heard things shooting out of our mouths from time to time that make us cringe.  I was going to be the cool parent. You know, the one who somehow managed the perfect balancing act of disciplining calmly, without yelling, while still maintaining a tight, kindred friendship with my kids.  Yeah well, I don't have to tell you how that worked out for me.  I can, in retrospect, laugh and pity that poor little naive pre-mom-of-two-extremely-strong-willed-boys person I used to be. Bless her heart.  She didn't have a clue what she was in for.  

So here I will attempt to recall a list of ten crazy things I've, at one time or another, heard come out of my very own mouth...

1. "How the *bleep* did these flood lights get shot out?"  (And I was worried about them shooting their eyes out with that thing...Yes, yes they did shoot out the flood lights with a BB gun once.  On purpose.)  

2."What is that smell? It smells like...like...Preparation H in here!"  

3. "Why do I smell pee?  Have y'all been peeing off the porch again?!"  (Thank the good Lord, this one seems to be behind us!)

4. "Do not draw circles around your nipples with a Sharpie marker ever again. Or your brother's either!"  
Source
5. "Y'all need to get out of my sight real quick 'cause I've only got one nerve left and I'm fixin' to LOSE IT!" 

6. "Y'all are gonna be real sorry when you put me in the hospital with a nervous breakdown." 

7.  "It smells like vinegar in here!  DRAAACEN!  Have you put an egg in vinegar AGAIN?!" (I cannot tell you how many times he has done this.  I did it once as a kid. Once was not enough for Dracen.  Just this week my kitchen got that funk again.  I finally found the egg in the vinegar ~apple cider this time...worst smell ever!~ in a wineglass, covered in a dishtowel in the corner behind the paper towel holder.)   

8. "Oh, you're gonna run away?  I better go down to the basement and get you a suitcase then. Where do you plan to stay?  And do you have a job lined up?"  
Source
9. "No, I will NOT come look at the size of your turd!  Flush the toilet NOW.  That's disgusting!"

10. "Because I said so, that's why!" (the very one I swore...SWORE I'd never, ever say)


Mama’s Losin’ It



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17 comments:

  1. Sadly, I have said #9 before as well.

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  2. I applaud your honesty and your humor.

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  3. I have to see if I could like on ten things. Mine would be different than yours cause I have girls.
    Cute list!

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  4. Oh man, mine are still pretty young, but you've given me a taste of what I'm in for!

    I think we've all said variations of number 6...LOL.

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  5. LOL. I am so glad you shared...my son is now 4, and I swear I am actually very proud of my parenting skills, up until this year...now that he's in full-on obnoxious kid mode, (still love him to death though) I find myself saying a lot of things to him that I would prefer to hold in! I actually realized that 'because I said so' was something that is unavoidable, so I just embrace it, lol!!

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  6. What is it with kids and poo? Both of my girls think they need to show me the evidence. Why?

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  7. My very last nerve is always on the brink of snapping. Love your list. :)

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  8. OK...I admit it...#'s 5,6 and 10 I have said. Not proud of it, but I did. Kids have a way of bringing it out of you sometimes! #9 made me think of something funny Abby said when she was about 3. She had gone potty and she called me into the bathroom pointing into the toilet and said, "Look, mommy, I made a pretzel!" I about died right on the spot!

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  9. Oh my goodness...the egg thing has me laughing out loud!! Yes, to be a mother of boys has definitely made me say some very crazy things too ;)

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  10. My mother used to say #6 all the time. She still hasn't had that nervous breakdown though.

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  11. Too Funny! My crowning glory is still the time I hollered to my then three year old, who was jumping on the trampoline, "Pull up your pants and get off your brother!"

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  12. I'm so sorry for the things I did as a kid! I apologize to my mama and tell her I'm definitely being paid back for it!

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  13. #4 SO me!
    #5 SO my mom!
    LOL Great list. Number one on mine would be "Do NOT lick your sister!"

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  14. OK I messed that up, numbers are not my strong suit. #5 is ME. #6 is my mom. My kids have not sharpied their nipples to the best of my knowledge.

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  15. My boys are experts at driving me crazy, but I noticed several of your comments had to do with nasty smells. I've been dismayed by some of the things that I have heard myself say.

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