I think I've mentioned here before about how Dracen likes to help his popaw with various hobbies and that one of those hobbies is beekeeping. He sells some of the honey for a very reasonable price and a couple of teachers at Dracen's school like to buy a jar or two from time to time.
A couple of weeks ago he came home from Popaw's with two big jars of honey and asked me to put them in his bookbag that night because one of the teachers at school had requested to buy them. So that next morning I managed to squeeze them into his already near-full-to-capacity bookbag and was planning to make a very clear point for him to be extra, extra careful with that bag before we left for school.
But you see I never got the chance because, for reasons known only to Dracen, he decided to pick that bag up and carry it (one- handed) to the hall bathroom where Devin was getting ready while I was in another bathroom brushing my teeth. I walked out to be immediately hit with a very disconcerting "Mommm" (you know the one) from Dracen that had me quickly bracing myself for what he was about to tell me.
I think I blacked out for a second or two because I only recall hearing the words honey, bookbag, fell, and broke. I came to just in time to see Devin carrying the unbroken jar of honey (with honey seeping down the sides) and Dracen doing some serious fast-talking about how it was all just an accident.
"Where.is.the.bookbag?!" were the words I managed to get out. They had left it in the floor at the edge of the hall and the living room. Y'all. I wanted to cry over what I found in that poor little innocent bookbag. Just curl up in a ball and call the whole dang day off because HOLY-HONEY-BOMB-BATMAN-WHERE-DO-I-EVEN-BEGIN-TO-CLEAN-THIS-DISASTER-UP?!!!
Instead, knowing we only had about five minutes before we needed to pull out of the driveway, I fished the couple of things he said he had to have that day out of the honey glass, cleaned them off the best I could while cussing under (and maybe a little over) my breath the whole time, threw them in the drawstring backpack he brought me and delivered the little minions to their schools.
When I got back home I fought the good fight against the sticky on the notebooks, library books and folders for over an hour, finally declared the bookbag a total loss and threw in the towel. But the honey war was far from over since I spent the next several days attempting to rid his books, school supplies, and any and every flat (and not so flat) surface in my house of the honey, which I am now convinced is the stickiest substance known to man. And animal. And bee.
Dracen finally confessed that he was only trying to show Devin how heavy his bag was (in other words, he was SHOWING OFF), Popaw has informed him that he will no longer be placed in charge of honey deliveries, his fifth grade agenda and data notebook will never be the same, and I will never look at a jar of honey the same way again.
Oh, and Popaw asked me to get the bookbag out of the trash and bring it over to his house so he can place it near the bees, assuring me that they will take every last drop of it back to their hive!
Well played, honey bees. Well played.