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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

When My Buns Were In The Oven...

I was pregnant with both my boys in the Summertime.  In fact, their birthdays are one day apart in July and would have actually been on the same date had I agreed to have my second c-section on the date the doctor suggested.  I just couldn't see myself checking into the hospital to have a baby on Devin's 4th birthday because I was all worried about jealousy. Ha!  I didn't even know the meaning of the word jealousy back then.  Sibling rivalry is alive and kicking in my house!

I was an all over kind of pregnant.  It was Summer in the South so I was hot, tired, swollen, hormonal, and on the verge of losin' it most of the time though it all seemed to be way worse the first time around. Probably because I was working in a cubicle in an office about an hour's drive from home. 

The most insane incident of hormonal craziness I can recall from the first pregnancy (it's been 12 years) came in the form of road rage and happened one night when the co-worker I carpooled with and I were on the highway coming home from work. It was already dark out and I was driving.  

It has always upset me to have someone riding my bumper especially when I'm already exceeding the speed limit. But when I was pregnant, to say that this "upset" me would be a vast understatement. 

On this night, this person had been tailgating me about as close as anyone possibly could without scraping my bumper and sending me spiraling out of control when all of a sudden the lane opened up and he/she? zoomed up and cut me off before I could get over too.  

I lost it. I mean. I. LOST.IT!  "Oh No, you Didn't!"  

I put the pedal to the metal and took off after the person.  I was huffin' and puffin' and cursin'  and driving like a bat out of h e double hockey sticks. My poor, innocent friend/co-worker in the passenger seat was horrified and pleading with me to slow down.

No, this is not an actual shot of MY pregnant belly.  I was WAY bigger than this!
I finally snapped out of it, backed off and gained control of myself.  I have no idea to this day what I thought I was going to do if I caught this person and they got out of the car.  Was I going to jump out in all my big bellied glory and challenge them to a duel? 

With my second pregnancy, I was less angry but I was obsessed with the condition of my house. Normally I have a... ahem.. more "relaxed" approach to housekeeping. I mean, I'm not anywhere close to having the cast of Clean House:Messiest Home in the Country come knocking on my door but you also won't ever see me on Strange Addictions because of my obsessive cleaning disorder either.  

But when I was pregnant with Dracen, I could NOT get the house clean enough.  I remember my mother-in-law Pat coming by once during that time and saying, "a fly would have a hard time finding a place to land around here, it's so clean!"  

I scrubbed. I cleaned. I swept. I vacuumed. I ironed. I mopped. I washed. I painted. I dusted. And dusted some more.  I went around with a white can of paint and touched up the molding and the baseboards. 

And when I ran out of things to clean and paint, I turned to obsessing over the shape of my eyebrows! 

But the minute my little bundle of joy said, "Hello, World!  The Dracenator has arrived and is ready to par-tay!"  my overwhelming desire to clean, paint, and pluck took a spiraling nosedive into the cold, hard, dirty floor.

What dust? What laundry? What eyebrow? Who am I and when's the last time I slept?!  

Now, every once in awhile, when I'm kicked back on the couch with my laptop and Diet Coke, I'll look over and see a spot on the floor or a dust bunny in the corner but no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get it to bother me the way it did the summer I was a mean, clean, preggers machine!  

And while I still get angry with tailgaters, I'm proud to say that I no longer take part in high speed car chases like that crazy pregnant lady I once was.  

So what about you? What was the craziest thing you did when your little bun(s) was in the oven?  

This post was inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt,  "Barefoot and hormonal…describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh."


  1. I didn't put the emergency brake on in my standard car and it rolled down a hill and sideswiped another car while I was in the store... this is crazy because I was anal about the parking brake and would even put it on in the flat driveway!

  2. This is too funny! Sometimes my hubby gets a little road rage going, and I'm wondering what he's gonna do if he catches up to that car. (And I remind him that they may have a gun....)

    And I NEVER cleaned house like that, girlie. No way, no chance.

  3. AT least you had mahhhhvelous eyebrows. That's important no?

  4. You are my hero for being able to clean the house while pregnant. That was my biggest excuse NOT to clean the house! Your road rage story had me cracking up! I've felt like that when I wasn't pregnant!

  5. Great post!! We do some crazy things as pregnant ladies, don't we?? I did the clean house thing too, I wish I could be a little more like that today, actually ;)

  6. I love that you went all Mario Andretti when you were pregnant.

    I wrote about the same thing. Stopping by fom Mama Kat's

  7. I love that you went all Mario Andretti when you were pregnant.

    I wrote about the same thing. Stopping by fom Mama Kat's

  8. Pregnancy hormones do crazy things to us! I went on my share of rants when I was pregnant.

  9. I think I have post traumatic stress syndrome, because I do not remember any of my craziness from those days. I've erased both pregnancies from my memory. I do remember, however, that I puked up until the day before I delivered my daughter. It was definitely a sign of things to come because she is my, um...spirited child.

  10. :-) I seem to recall charging into the street at 3:00, challenging the owners of the CONSTANTLY BARKING DOGS to come out and fight me because so help me God I had gone a good 72 hours without sleeping because of them...

    I was about five months along at the time.

    I also ate a whole sardine, head/tail/all, around the 8th month. I had never done it before and certainly haven't done it since but oh MAN did I crave the salty oilness of it all...


  11. Oy. Growing a kid does strange stuff to us! :)

    Thanks for the laughs!

  12. I was super fussy. My co-workers were on edge when I came into a room.

    Loved reading about your challenges.

  13. I. Am. Laughing. I love that your nesting also applied to your eyebrows! This is so funny Diann I am howling hysterically.

  14. Haha on the driving story. I despise when people tailgate me, though I am quilty of riding someone's tail when they're going 5 under the limit.

    I never cleaned while pregnant, but I think I ate an entire watermelon every other day. And a container of goat cheese each week.