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Friday, July 2, 2010

Breakin' bad flip offs

I really do plan to do Fancy Friday again sometime, I promise.  I really do. 

But not today. 

I'm gonna break bad and do the flip offs with Gigi over at Kludgy Mom again this week.

To the state trooper who stopped me in the middle of the street for a license check in the dark and in the middle of BFE as we were coming back from Dev's all-star game and wrote me a $160 ticket because my inspection expired 15 days ago and I had no clue because I never got the thingy in the mail, probably because we moved and the forwarding process takes FOREVER causing me to now have to go back to BFE in order to get out of paying it once I get the inspection done.  FLIPPITY FLIP FLIP FLIP OFFF!!!

To the people who treat Little League like it's the flippin' World Series and as if those little boys are gettin' paid millions to be out there....I've had it up to my eyeballs and I'm sick to death of it!  So flip off!

To the dude driving the big giant truck that you so inconsiderately, unkindly and thoughtlessly pulled right out in front of me and then proceeded to drive 35 mph ALL the way up the highway in a no passing zone causing me to get crazy road rage, count to ten five hundred times in my head and inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth and to be late for my yoga class, FLIP OFF !!   But I thank God for an excellent yoga instructor because I needed it bad by the time I got there!

To my credit card company who keeps sending me those stupid blank checks in the mail,  I NEVER USE. I HAVE NEVER USED THEM AND I DON'T WANT THEM!!!!!  STOP SENDING THEM and causing me to have to take up my precious time and energy to destroy them...time and energy I could be expending on much more important things, like blogging!  Flip Off!

To my hormones that continue to give me a warped sense of self about once a month causing me to, once again, wreck my closet by trying on 15 different outfits before going back to the very first one I tried on and deciding that it would do, thus making me feel like a crazy person.  Will you never cease?!  Apparently you will not so here is a great big FLIP OFF for you!!!  

And here's one especially for the ungrateful turtle I wrote about on Wednesday... I would say that next time I'll just keep rolling on by in my little car and mind my own business but that would be a lie because I'm a softie with a tender heart for critters so I know I'd save your ungrateful reptilian self all over again but you can flip off for having the audacity to hiss at me and attempt to bite me after I risked my very life to save you from the middle of that highway where you were certain to meet your unfortunate, grim and very messy demise right there in the middle of it! 

Ahhh....I feel much better! 

Happy Friday!


  1. I must first flip off google for deleting the long message I just left you. GRR!! I hate parents who don't let kids play ball like kids. And super annoying about the ticket. I'd have really fought that one. Glad you still got your yoga after that annoyance. And to hormones... I could flip you off every day. I think I did last week. Or was it the week before? Anyhoo- an injustice to womankind. Flip off.

  2. Ah, hormones! They've been on my list before and will probably be again! They've really got to be one of the most annoying things known to women!

  3. These are great! I have to agree with you on the baseball thing. I have a friend that acts exactly like "those" parents. But she turns it around and make it look like it's her son that's all into it...when she's the actual freak out there on the bleachers! Have a great weekend!

  4. Well I think I need to go and do my flip-offs all over again because I just don't think I found the tone you found! You really gave them the flip-off! $160 fine - ouch! So with you on treating kids sport as a professional game - you see it hear all the times, parents screaming at kids and umpires. Yikes. Well done on some really passionate flip-offs, an inspiration for me to flip-off harder next week!

  5. Ah, the guy that pulls out in front of you and drives slow. I'm flipping him off with you. That happens to me all of the time!
    I'm right there with you on the credit card checks. I hate those things!
    Girl, never mess with a snapping turtle (that's what it sounds like anyway) those things are vicious! I saw one bite the end of a horses nose once. She couldn't get the thing off for the life of her. Not good! Have a great weekend!

  6. Cops are the worst. A freaking expired licenst. What an f-er.

    I am with you on the truck that pulled in front or you and went slow. hate, hate, hate them.

  7. Awesome flip-offs! Seems like some drivers and hormones are a trend this week? I have those too on my list although not as elaborately put like yours LOL. :D

  8. I feel your pain about LL baseball. Little League players here are treated the same way! You'd think they were already signing contracts.

  9. I've got a couple of people I could flip off today....

    Thanks for stopping by.

  10. cleansing, ain't it! i used to be a raging biatch from hormones. now i'm balanced (and take happy pills)...everyone is better off.

  11. You go Diane! You know from reading my blog that I don't like litterbugs! I never understand why. There are garbage cans at every gas station, stores, etc. Sorry about the ticket! I hate when they don't let something go when an expiration is within a couple of weeks and you cleary did not realize it. You are right about parents not letting their kids play a sport and simply have fun! If they will be in the major leagues, that time for pressure will come later on! Have a great day!

    Mama Hen

  12. having to rely on the post office to get any sort of time sensitive material not good. don't you wish you could send that ticket right to USPS?

    I hear ya on baseball. We about were over the top last season with the competitiveness. I'm glad my son has now opted for Tae kwon Do!

  13. Love your flip offs! Have a wonderful weekend!

  14. Dude, that state trooper can take a flip off from me too! LAME-O. I'm in CA and the Highway Patrol is doing garbage like that all the time. I know the state is broke, but don't pull my hubby over for "speeding" when he's going 4 miles over the speed limit.

  15. Those crack me up! Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I loved your flip offs, oh hormones... crazy things!

  16. Great post! My life seems too boring...
    Happy, little late though, blog hop greetings, from Casablanca, Morocco!
    Next time on time I hope! :)