But not today.
I'm gonna break bad and do the flip offs with Gigi over at Kludgy Mom again this week.
To the state trooper who stopped me in the middle of the street for a license check in the dark and in the middle of BFE as we were coming back from Dev's all-star game and wrote me a $160 ticket because my inspection expired 15 days ago and I had no clue because I never got the thingy in the mail, probably because we moved and the forwarding process takes FOREVER causing me to now have to go back to BFE in order to get out of paying it once I get the inspection done. FLIPPITY FLIP FLIP FLIP OFFF!!!
To the people who treat Little League like it's the flippin' World Series and as if those little boys are gettin' paid millions to be out there....I've had it up to my eyeballs and I'm sick to death of it! So flip off!
To the dude driving the big giant truck that you so inconsiderately, unkindly and thoughtlessly pulled right out in front of me and then proceeded to drive 35 mph ALL the way up the highway in a no passing zone causing me to get crazy road rage, count to ten five hundred times in my head and inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth and to be late for my yoga class, FLIP OFF !! But I thank God for an excellent yoga instructor because I needed it bad by the time I got there!
To my credit card company who keeps sending me those stupid blank checks in the mail, I NEVER USE. I HAVE NEVER USED THEM AND I DON'T WANT THEM!!!!! STOP SENDING THEM and causing me to have to take up my precious time and energy to destroy them...time and energy I could be expending on much more important things, like blogging! Flip Off!
To my hormones that continue to give me a warped sense of self about once a month causing me to, once again, wreck my closet by trying on 15 different outfits before going back to the very first one I tried on and deciding that it would do, thus making me feel like a crazy person. Will you never cease?! Apparently you will not so here is a great big FLIP OFF for you!!!
And here's one especially for the ungrateful turtle I wrote about on Wednesday... I would say that next time I'll just keep rolling on by in my little car and mind my own business but that would be a lie because I'm a softie with a tender heart for critters so I know I'd save your ungrateful reptilian self all over again but you can flip off for having the audacity to hiss at me and attempt to bite me after I risked my very life to save you from the middle of that highway where you were certain to meet your unfortunate, grim and very messy demise right there in the middle of it!
Ahhh....I feel much better!