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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Squirrels do what?

Well we all survived the first day back, Devin didn't get lost in the big high school, and it only took me an hour to fill out all that paperwork with the same information I give them every.single.year. They still have the same dates of birth, parents, race, relatives, address, phone numbers, birthmarks, eye colors and fingerprints yet somehow the school system insists on us hand printing out ALL this stuff again...and again...and again.

For the love of Pete, it's the 21st century. Shouldn't we now have the capability to, say, I don't know, update any changes in an online database? It's 2013! Who does not have access to the internet? Come on, we are making bank deposits, reading novels, watching movies and crushing candies on our tiny handheld phones so don't tell me we can't pull this thing out without involving all those innocent trees.

Oh and speaking of trees, Dracen and I were outside with the dogs Sunday afternoon when we suddenly heard something come crashing down from the big trees in the front yard and land with a thud. I assumed it was a branch and would have never thought any more about it but Dracen, being the curious inquirer that he has always been, investigated further and found that it was not a branch but what appeared to be an old rib bone with tiny gnaw marks on the side.

I was completely weirded out but Dracen seemed to think it was a perfectly normal experience, explaining to me that squirrels will sometimes get bones and chew on them.  Okay. You learn something new every day and apparently I am still not smarter than a fifth grader. 

I am still a little baffled, however, as to why the squirrel felt the urge to hurl its bone at us but I have a feeling it had something to do with the dogs, specifically Brisco Darling who practically lives to chase squirrels. This wiener dog chases squirrels in his sleep, complete with barks, whines, growls and leg movements.

It is quite entertaining. Though not so much when he wakes himself up at 2:30 a.m. and then proceeds to wake us up, jump down out of bed, prance around and claw at the door until we give in and let him outside to stand watch over the backyard just in case the dream squirrel really does exist. 

The weekend before last he got the biggest squirrel thrill/tease of his life...

Dracen informed me that Popaw had trapped a squirrel in his cage so he was going over there to assist him in "disposing" of it because it had been eating his corn. Well I, being the sap that I am, told him they should just bring it on over to our house and let it loose. So about an hour later they showed up toting that cage, complete with a crazy-eyed squirrel inside.

Dracen came running through the door, swooped up Mr. Darling and carried him out into the backyard and held him in place on the ground a few feet back from where Popaw had placed the caged squirrel. I've never seen him so beside himself...even in his middle-of-the-night-imaginary-dream-chases. He was licking, smacking his chops, whining and shaking like a Polaroid picture. And I'm up on the deck yelling, "Don't let him really catch it!"  Popaw assured me I had nothing to worry about.

And he was right because when that cage was opened that squirrel took a near flying leap to and up the closest tree in sight. I thought for a moment that that little wiener was actually going to attempt to climb the tree. He stayed out sniffing the ground and staring into the trees for two hours, refusing to come in the house (in spite of the bee sting he took to his rear foot) until he was sure he had exhausted all efforts and was forced to throw up his white flag, allowing the squirrel to live (and hurl bones at us) another day.

And to think I lobbied for his life...Ungrateful rodent!

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  1. Might have been all that was left of the last dog that chased that squirrel.

    We got all those same forms complete with a new "Tell us about you child" form which indirectly asked those questions that teachers are not allowed to actually ask.

    For example, In place of "What Religion" it was "What holidays does your family not observe.

    It was interesting.

  2. We had a cat that loved squirrels only he was apparently much faster than the Darlings and left us many a present on the doorstep. YUCK!

  3. Squirrels serve as great entertainment here... although none of them have hurled bones at us.

    Our school finally got smart. They send home a hard copy of last year's forms... we update them in pen and send them back. Easy Peasy.

  4. My parents actually FEED the squirrels that come to their house. They'll actually grab a peanut out of my parents hands.

  5. Our schools have gotten a little better and usually send the paperwork pre-filled out with the previous info and then ask you to correct anything that has changed. HOWEVER, with this newfangled technology, they also screw some things up. Like somehow obtaining my new phone number from MY kids' school and adding it to my FORMER stepson's information, (who goes to a different school now) and causing me to get a phone call from former stepson's teacher about a quiz grade the other night!!
    Squirrels can be spiteful little creatures!
    You have a beautiful yard, and of course, the dogs are gorgeous.