What I Love About You Monday...Growing Up Edition

Friday night I had a dream (a nightmare, really) that I was eighteen again and had the chance to do it all over.  I felt completely wigged out, overwhelmed, and wanted nothing more than to go back to my forty year old self.  


I was walking with a faceless, nameless someone through what I think was a gymnasium while discussing my options and I still couldn't think of any one thing I really wanted to do differently. I didn't want a second chance and was relieved to wake up and realize that it was all just a dream and that I was actually still in the year 2011.  


And I don't think it takes a genius, a dream dictionary, or a shrink to interpret that one.... 


I want to keep on being me. 


And that's a good thing.  


I think growing older gets a bad rap.  And while I realize that I still have quite a few milestone birthdays yet to hit, I'm finding that I am growing more fond of me as the years roll by.  I like the woman I am now, at forty, a little more than the one I was at thirty and a whole lot more than the baby faced one I was at twenty.  

So today, for this edition of What I Love About You Monday, I think I'll list a few of the things I have come to love about growing older/up...

~The valuable life lessons I've learned that could have never been taught in a classroom or by reading a book.  

~The thinking about something that seems to have only happened just a few years ago and being hit with the realization that it was more like twenty years ago.  It doesn't really make me feel old.  It makes me feel that I have acquired a true past...a history...and the wisdom to know which things worked and which ones didn't.

~The ability to stay home on a Friday or Saturday night and feeling perfectly happy and content instead of like I'm missing out on all the excitement and fun that is surely being had elsewhere in the world without me.

~The knowing when to speak up and when to keep my mouth shut. (at least most of the time anyway)

~The realization that while traveling the world is a wonderful experience (and wanting to do lots more of it), there is no place like home and it has always, and most likely forever will be, my most favorite place to be.   

~The comfort I feel in my own skin that I just didn't feel when I was younger.  I am much more forgiving and accepting of myself now and have stopped trying to make my body be something it was not meant to be.  

~The way I have learned to forgive by realizing that nobody is perfect and holding onto grudges only hurts myself.  

~The ability to relate to so many different people on so many different levels because I have been where they are.  

~The wisdom to know that sometimes things just have nothing to do with me, personally, being able to suck it up, put it behind me, hold my head high and carry on.  It has taken me a long time to get here. 

~The good memories....so many priceless memories that far outweigh the bad and that I hope to only continue to add to and to never, ever lose...

How I spent my birthday...

The boys have been riding the bus home this year for the first time since they've been in school. I've still been taking them, however, in the mornings because the bus comes at 7:05 and if I drive them we don't leave until 7:30.   


Hey, that 25 minutes is a lot for someone like me in the early mornings hours.  Trust me.  


They decided last week (and I've really no clue as to why) that they wanted to start riding it in the mornings so the night before last when I was putting Dracen to bed (you know he has that alarm clock now?) he says to me, with complete and utter 7.5 year old seriousness, 


"If you don't see me in the morning, I got on the bus."  


I had to laugh.  "Dracen", I said, "you know I'm going to set my alarm and get up to see you off."  


"Why?" he asked.  


"Good night, Dracen!"  


They've been saying they were going to catch the bus for the past week or so but yesterday, on my 40th birthday, the stars and planets finally aligned themselves correctly in their proper positions in the universe and the boys rode the bus to school.


So I stayed in my night gown until 11:00.  Don't judge. It was my birthday!  


The weather was perfect, I felt like a superstar with all the birthday wishes on facebook (don't you just love fb on your birthday?), went to yoga at noon, sat on the deck in the adirondack chairs with my Diet Sun Drop and read a great book in the afternoon, and finished the day with two back to back baseball games, the first ones of the season.  


The boys gave me hanging basket ferns, a sweet card and some rose bushes to set out and my sweet husband gave me some beautiful windchimes, chocolate (score!), and a birthstone necklace.  My birthstone, by the way, is the diamond.  


I told the boys before we left for their games that I wanted one more gift....to have my picture taken with them in their uniforms.  Devin, normally the camera shy one with the I will sabotage every picture you try to take of me attitude was very cooperative. Well, "cooperative" when we're talking about Devin and cameras.  


The Dracenator, on the other hand, was acting like somebody licked the red off his candy, stomping his feet in the ground and shouting, "My cleats hurt!"  Sigh.


I suppose you can't have it all, but I most definitely feel blessed with more than my share.  


God is good.  

Smile, Dracen!

Smile RIGHT, Dracen!!! 

Oh, I give up!  Let's go!

And to show you that he really does know how to smile, here he is smilin' it up at The Melting Pot Saturday night...

  

Hello Forty. Let's talk!

Hello Forty, I'm Diane!

How kind of you to show

I think we'll get alone just fine,

though there are things you need to know...

I don't plan to slow down

because you know that I couldn't

I'll never stop dancing

or forget things I shouldn't

My old friends, the Thirties,

gave me dignity and grace

but I could have done without

these little lines left on my face

They are still quite manageable

and I can deal with them fine

but don't get any bright ideas

about leaving your own behind!

I often get these cricks

in my shoulders and my neck

Sometimes my right knee's weak

But I can keep all this in check!

So don't ever try to get me down

or put my back against a wall

Just keep your wrinkles to yo'self

and you and me? We'll have a ball!   

Bye Bye, Thirties!

Well, this is it...my very last day as a thirtysomething. My thirties brought about so many major life changes and while I wouldn't trade any of those years, or the lessons I learned during them, for anything, I am looking forward to my forties and believe they may just be the very best years yet.

Some valuable life lessons I've learned in the past decade...

 1. It is possible to love a second baby every bit as much as the first one.  A wise woman once said, "that second baby is like the icing on the cake."  And how right she was. And while I only had two, I'm sure this is true for each and every one God blesses you with.


2. Tomorrows are never guaranteed to any of us and while I've still not fully mastered it, I know how very wise it is to live each day on this earth as if it were your last and to never put off saying what you truly feel, for you may not ever get another opportunity.  

3. "You only go around once."  Someone once gave Darin that advice when he was struggling with the decision of whether or not to  surprise me with a second Dachshund for Mother's Day one year.  I thought that was the best advice I'd ever heard and I am constantly reminded of it.  Needless to say, he got the dog.  


4. Changing your hairstyle after a major life altering event has a way of saying, "Hey, look at me!  Someone moved my cheese, but I'm adapting, surviving and I'm going to be okay...different, but okay. And probably even better."


5. Empathy is an extremely powerful emotion and sharing a difficult and trying life experience with someone often has a way of creating an immediate bond and priceless friendship.


6. 'Old' friends are one of God's greatest blessings.  Spending time or talking with a friend/friends you've known since adolescence or childhood, re-awakens the soul and keeps your heart and spirit young.  


7. Broken hearts are always mendable, no matter how many times they've been broken.  The key is to never allow yourself to become bitter or cynical about life or love and always be willing to get back in the saddle and give it another shot.  Always be willing to give it another shot.  No matter what.


8. We all make mistakes.  The important thing is to learn from them, grow from them, ask forgiveness for them, and vow to never make them again.  And if you do make them again, rinse and repeat until you get it right.  


9. Holding onto anger and resentment drains you of energy and darkens your spirit.  Letting go frees and enlightens.


10. If you expect others to respect you, then you must first respect yourself.  And be willing to forgive yourself for the times when you didn't.


11. When your gut/intuition tells you something is or isn't right, listen to it!  


12. Prayer works.  Don't ever believe it doesn't. If you start thinking God isn't listening or answering your prayers,  you need to stop and ask yourself why you think that is.  What we want and think is best for us, is not always God's will for our lives and He always knows what is best for us.  This I know for sure.


13. If you get the feeling that God is talking to you and trying to tell you something... lead you to something, then by all means, listen up and pay attention.  


14. Giving is far more rewarding than receiving.  


15. Don't ever look to others for your own fulfillment and happiness.  You and you alone are the only one who holds that power.

 Now bring it, 40! 

Just Because

I have brought up many times here the fact that I am turning the big 40 in April and I have reached the point to where I am actually looking forward to it.  I was inspired to look forward to it even more so on Sunday when Darin's Great Aunt Edie came by to pay us a visit. 

I was exiting the pew at church when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and turned to see Mrs. Edie's smiling face.  She is a classy, full-of-spunk-cheer-and-energy kind of lady and has the best southern drawl of anyone I know. 

I first met her about seventeen years ago when Darin and I were just dating and was immediately drawn to her, as I am sure most people are. She was already widowed by the time I met her and always spoke very fondly of her husband, Jack, and how much they had loved to travel together after he retired as an engineer. She even managed to do quite a bit of it on her own, after his death.

She once drove herself and about three of her older widowed sisters out west, all in their seventies or eighties at the time, and they "just had the best time!" We lovingly began referring to them as The Traveling Widows.

Darin and I went over to visit her once in 1996 when she had just gotten back from a road trip she went on "all by herself" to follow around the Olympic torch just because the Olympic games were in Atlanta that year.  She was over the moon telling us about it, along with how much fun she had with the ladies of the Red Hat Society she belonged to. And I, all of twenty-five at the time, decided right then and there that I wanted to be exactly like Aunt Edie if and when I was ever lucky enough to be that age one day, a cool old lady with a zest for life and a big red hat. 

She had the idea a few years back to begin an annual 4th of July parade here in the town of Maiden and it has been taking place on Main Street every 4th of July since, and to the best of my knowledge she is always there, decked from head to toe in her finest patriotic attire.

So, when I turned to see that it was her who had tapped me on the shoulder at church Sunday, I was absolutely delighted.  She began by telling me that she had no idea we had moved until she saw the return address on our Christmas card.  She said she knew where our street was and that she'd just love to come visit us some time. I told her I would love for her to and she asked, "Well, are you going to be home today?!"  I told her we'd be home later after we ate at Momaw Pat's.  

By the time we got home from the ER, after Dracen's little stunt gone wrong, I assumed we had probably missed her if she had come by. But the doorbell rang about 5:30, shortly after we got home, and there she stood on the front porch with that great big warm smile on her face and a container full of cinnamon rolls she'd picked up at the Food Lion, explaining how she'd wanted to get us some flowers but they were all sold out so she decided on the cinnamon rolls.  

We sat in the sunroom and chatted with her for a little while and she told us about how she and Jack had lived in California for awhile for his job back in the 70s and about how much she just loved it there! She said she was always ready for a road trip and never said no at the opportunity to GO. She also talked about how she and her daughter, Brenda, drove all the way to Texas once just because they'd heard the flowers were beautiful there that time of year and just wanted to go see it for themselves.   

She then told us about a crazy little run-in she'd had at the doctor's office recently and how she flat out told them how absolutely ridiculous and absurd their policy was. She said that when you get to be her age, you feel you've earned the right to just say what's on your mind! Well I, for one, could not agree more. 

I knew she was in her eighties but I didn't know exactly how old she was so I just asked her and she practically beamed when she answered, "Ohhh, I'll be NINETY!"  "What?!" Charlie and I blurted in unison. "No way! When is your birthday?", I asked.  She answered, "Oh, it's not until December but I'm already telling everybody I'll be ninety this year!" 

"What is your secret?", I had to ask.  She said that she has simply always lived by the motto to "take care of your body and it will take care of you when you're old".  She said she's never been a drinker or smoker, never eaten a lot of meat and has always kept a close eye on her weight, and that any time she has seen the scale go up a pound or two, she has gotten it right off.  

Simple, right?  

By the time she got ready to leave it was dark and Charlie and I both thought about the driveway.  It's a bit long with an awkward little slight curve and a brick wall that runs along one side of it, with some very large oak trees on the other side. He started to warn her about it but she was way ahead of the game.  She had scoped things out when she got here and decided it would be best if she went ahead and turned her car around so all she had to do was drive straight out. 

Gotta love her.

Did I mention how much I'm looking forward to turning forty this year?  

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~Mark Twain

Yes, I'm talking about turning 40 AGAIN

I was driving the boys to school this morning when You Shook Me All Night Long came on the radio.  I, of course, began belting out the words which caused Dracen to cover his ears and Devin to look at me with that you're seriously embarrassing me right now look. 

"I can't believe they're playing this on this station", I say.  "I saw them in concert in like 1991."  Devin replies with, "weren't you like 7?" And, Y'all. He was dead serious.  God bless him.  Love that kid! 

I was honest though and told him that, "No, I was actually 20 because I was born in 1971."  He says, "but that would make you like forty something!"  I tell him that, "yes, I'll be 40 in April...don't I look it? I sure don't feel it." 

"No", he says, "you don't." 

Again, GOD BLESS HIM!  This kid doesn't dish out many compliments and I don't think he even knew this was one but sure made mama feel good.

This whole turning 40 this year thing seems very surreal to me and I know y'all are probably going to get sick and darn tired of hearing me ramble on about it on this blog but it's my blog and I'll ramble if I want to.  

The truth is, I've done much pondering over this subject and I'm pretty okay with it.  In fact, I'm more than okay with it.  Getting older has somehow recently started to make me feel more powerful and I think it has everything to do with the knowledge I've gained and the mindset I have about things now that I just didn't have when I was younger. 

I'm way more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was in my 20s or early 30s and simply because I've lightened up on myself A LOT.  Oh, I still have my insecurities like everyone else but I no longer base my life and happiness on what size I'm wearing or what the number on the scale reads this week. 

When I was younger I think I thought life was all about my own fulfillment and I looked at the world and thought, "what do you have to offer me today?"  Now I know just enough to realize that the greatest satisfactions in life do not come from personal gain. They come from what we put in and from what we give back. 

I have often times struggled with distinguishing between the right thing to do (God's voice) and the thing that will make me feel the best right at this moment.  Not saying I always get it right, by any means, but I like to think I'm getting better at it. 

I love browsing and reading quotes from various people.  Sometimes you just find one and think, Wow! How profoundly wise this person is/was and the words just stick with you.  Here is one of those:

"Never undertake anything for which you wouldn't have the courage to ask the blessings of heaven." ~G.C. Lichtenberg  

And I think I'll end with those wise words today. 

Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend!