Nostalgic Friday (Re-post)

***Re-post from June 4, 2010


I know those of you who have faithfully read my little blog every day (thanks, mom!) since I started it, 3 months ago today by the way, are going to be disappointed that I have made the decision to not do Fancy Friday today.  There are really only so many pictures of cute little espadrille wedges, lace doilies and doggie dresses that I can find to show you.  Plus, there are just too many websites out there who are stingy with the photos of their goods and I'm just not in the mood to be all stressed out by testy photos this morning cause we all know, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".

So I'm just gonna shoot the bull today and see how that goes.  I've never been much good at shootin' the bull or making small talk which is why I went all through my elementary and middle school years without making any friends and only speaking out loud when my very life depended on it. 

I'm not kidding. 

I once flipped over in my desk (you know, the old school kind that your books went underneath and the teacher lined up in rows?) and the teacher went right on teaching because I just stayed there, quietly flipped over on my side in my desk, until one of the other kids told the teacher that Diane had flipped over in her desk to which she replied, "Diane, you are the only student I know who could turn over in her desk without making a sound." 

I was really a different child, however, outside of school and around those I knew well.  It was almost like I had this whole two lives, split personality disorder thing going on.  At home I was cutting flips and cartwheels and dancing in front of the t.v. or mirror in my disco pajamas to the Bee Gees and making prank calls with my bestie (you know, the whole is your refrigerator running? well, you better go catch it! kind of thing), which was totally ruined by the whole caller i.d. business. 

What a buzz kill for our kids today.   

Yeah, they have the internet and Wii and GameBoy and cell phones(except for my kids who remind me on a daily basis that they are the only kids in the whole school and world who do not have cell phones) and ipods, and all the other fun futuristic stuff that we could have never even conjured up in our wildest of imaginations but there are things that I look back on and wish my kids could get the same simple joy out of doing that we once did. 

Here are a few that come to mind:

~playing outside all day in the summer, despite the heat and humidity, because the fun that could be invented outside was way better than the fun that could be had inside... due to that whole lack of video games, computers and five hundred and ninety five channels on t.v. thing again.

~getting super ecstatic about the Wizard of Oz coming on t.v. once a year or the Charlie Brown or Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman specials on holidays because we couldn't just pop in a dvd and watch them anytime we wanted.

~popping popcorn on the stove by putting the kernels in a pot and shaking it back and forth really fast across the burner until magically, the popcorn appeared and pushed the lid off the pot. Because, what the heck was a microwave?!

~dialing a rotary phone or using a phone booth

~answering a phone without having a clue who was on the other end.  Okay, this was not always a good thing, I admit. But still...the anticipation was exciting anyway.

~making a record skip on the record player or playing a record backwards to see if the demonic rumors were really true.  Again, maybe not such a good thing, but ahh...the memories. And for the record (pun intended), I don't recall ever hearing any satanic messages on any of mine.

~jumping rope (for the fun of it), hula hooping, playing hop scotch or Red Rover or Ghost in the Graveyard.

~experiencing the excitement and awe of a Polaroid. Wow!  It was like....magic.  Name that movie.

These are just a few I can recall at the moment but I am always thinking of things like this and wondering when they became history and I suppose it has always been this way, since the beginning of civilization.  I mean, after all, many of our parents (mine included) didn't even have t.v., or even a car, when they were growing up.

And that is what we like to call "progression", sometimes a wonderful thing and sometimes not so much. 

I am gonna vow right here and now to at least take my kids to a drive in movie this summer because yes, there is one still in existence about 25 miles away from us and to pop us up some corn in a pot to take with us.  :) 

Hope y'all have a great weekend!  And btw, you can dial *67 on your phone and prank call away.  Just don't call me cause I know 'em all, probably even invented some of them. 

The Fire (Re-post)

***Re-post from 10/11/2010...


Friday night Charlie decided he'd surprise the boys by making a fire in the fire pit out back.  So he snuck off on a marshmallow and wiener run while I tried to play it off and keep it on the down low from the Dracenator, who was certain something was up. 


When C  got back and we started looking for matches, the boy was so ecstatic I thought he'd explode. 


There is absolutely nothing in this world that can excite a 7 year old boy like the mere assumption that somebody may possibly be about to strike a match in your presence.   


For something.  Anything.


"Are we gonna light some candles?  Cause I can help!  I can do that, Mom!" 


No, Dray, we aren't lighting any candles. 


"I think I may know where some are!  Did you check in that turtle?  Where's your turtle, Mom?"


No, Dray,  already checked and there weren't any there. 


Just to clarify, this is not a real turtle.  It's a little metal turtle whose shell opens up and about the only thing that would fit in there would be a small pack of matches. It's older than dirt. 

C had some sort of spark flying contraption that they ended up using to start the fire with.  Apparently, we are not matches kind of people since I never located a single pack of matches anywhere in this house.


Dev finally decided to break himself free from the computer and phone when he heard that there was an open flame in the backyard.


I had forgotten how stressful it is to be a Mom


With Boys.


Around an open fire.


There seems to be lacking, somewhere in their DNA,  that one little something that gives them a good, healthy respect for fire. 


I think I must have said, "You're getting too close!  You're going to catch on fire! Don't Fall In!  Be CAREFUL! " at least a hundred and fifty times.  At LEAST!


Just call me Buzz Kill.  That's me, right here. Mrs.Buzz.Kill


Then there were the Darling wiener dogs who kept trying to run off with the pack of wieners.  And then they got started on wiener jokes...


"My wiener is burnt!  He He heee!"


"His wiener fell in the fire!


"Your wiener is SIZZLING!"   BA Ha Ha HAAA!!!"


Those of you who have boys, or who have spent much time around them at all, know how much they find peeing outside irresistible. They LOVE it.


It's like some sort of rite of passage thing to them that they never, EVER outgrow! I knew this.  Have been a mom of boys for 11 years and I had brothers so I have known this for quite a long time now.


What I did not know, however, is how much more they adore peeing on a fire. 


I mentioned that it was getting about time to go back inside when C opened his mouth and spoke and the two of them looked at him as if he were God himself speaking. 


He told them that before we went in, they could pee on the fire. 


"Really?! "  they asked.  "You mean, REALLY?!"


 They both lit up like Cheshire Cats on Christmas morning.  I had never seen anything quite like it. 


I was a little bewildered that he would suggest such a thing and he tells me that he and his buddies used to always pee on their campfires before they left. 


Then he, clearly without thinking, looks at me and says,


Have you never peed on a fire?  


He realized the obsurdity of this question before I could mutter any coherent words out of my mouth, laughs and says,


Oh yeah.  I guess not.


He explained to me that it smells really awesome. in a bad way.


So I left. 


And they peed on the fire.

 

You Are Here (Re-post)

***Originally posted on April 13, 2010...


This whole moving thing has kicked my butt and took my name. 

Have I ever mentioned how much I despise dealing with incompetence?  Well, I do and I was given a great big hefty dose of it yesterday, courtesy of the contractor's employee who installed my DirectTV. 

I think it was a life test of my patience and ability to contain my thoughts and words while simultaneously refraining from taking physical force against another human being.

I passed, but only barely.

But, the good news is, we have t.v. again so yay for that!

I love the new house and we have so much more room but I am still feeling like I just have all my stuff in someone else's house. I suppose this is normal for someone who lived in the same house for 13 plus years. 

We should have our fence put up in about a week but for the time being, we've been taking Big Boy and Li'l Bit out on leashes and they seem to have some sort of aversion to doing their business while attached to a leash. 

Big Boy points his nose towards the woods and tries with all his might to pull me in that direction while Li'l Bit just seems to be along for the sight seeing.  

They broke out of the sun room yesterday when I was gone and left me a package in the bonus room which just happens to be the only room in the entire house with carpet.  

Why do dogs do that?!  Every single one I've ever known prefers   carpet or rugs to hardwood and tile. 

Must just be a dog thing.

Enough of the complaining though because truly, I have nothing at all to complain about.  I have had countless blessings bestowed upon me and as I sit here in the quiet stillness of this beautiful room surrounded by unpacked boxes, I am reminded of each and every one of them.   

God is good and I am so humbly and eternally grateful for Him and His unending love and patience with me and all of my human imperfections.  His everpresence in my life is what keeps me grounded and reined in when I  start to feel my temper flaring and my blood pressure rising. 

I hear His voice saying, "Diane, this is a minor, insignificant thing that you have no reason to get upset about.  Look around you at all that I have blessed you with" and that brings me back to reality and puts a smile back on my face.

I haven't quoted my treasured Marjorie Holmes book in awhile so I leave you with her words today,

WHEN THE WINDS CRY I HEAR YOU

     Oh God, my God, when the winds cry I hear you, when the birds call I hear you,

when the sea rushes in it is like the rushing of my being toward yours.

You are voice of wind and bird and beat of sea.

  You are the silent steady pulsing of my blood.

I would know you better, I would taste your essence,

 I would see your face.

Yet these few small senses of mine cannot do more.

You have defined their limits, you have set them within

a framework from which we can only see and touch and hear and attempt

to know these marvels that you have made.

But this too is the marvel-that you are within each of us as well.

As we are drawn toward your greatness we are drawn

toward the greatness within ourselves.

We are larger beings, we are greater spirits.

The hunger for you kindles a holy fire that makes us

kinder, gentler, surer, stronger- ever seeking,

never quite finding, but always keenly aware that you are

all about us and within us.

You are here.

Mothers (Re-post)

***This post was written and originally posted on May 6, 2010...


Last night I made Mexican since it was cinco de Mayo and all.  By "made" I mean I browned some ground turkey and followed the directions on the Ortega box and heated up some refried beans.  I realized as I was chopping up tomatoes that I did not have any lettuce.  

Great. Well, I guess it will just be tacos without the lettuce.  I then got fixated on my lack of lettuce but decided it was really not worth a trip to the store at this point since it was already almost 7 and everything else was about ready.  

The boys and Charlie were outside and when Devin walked in, I told him to wash up and to go tell Charlie and Dracen it was ready.  I was still obsessing over the lack of lettuce so when Devin came in, I let him know right away that we did not have lettuce.  I really needed to get this off my chest since it was eating away at me by this point.  

So a couple of minutes pass and Charlie and Dracen come in but I just keep talking about the missing lettuce.  Devin finally says, "you sound just like Mawmaw Becky". 

Say what?  I laugh and ask why that is and he mocks a little imitation of me and really draws out the syllables..."I just feeel so baaad that we don't have lettiss!"    I don't really think I said those exact words but that is what he said and do I really sound like that?  

I then have to know exactly what is was about my behavior, specifically, that reminded him of MawMaw Becky who just also happens to be my mother and he said, "it was just...I dunno...it just reminded me of her." 

My followup response:  "Well, you know what they say?  We all turn into our mothers."

This prompted another conversation entirely because Devin got really concerned about the possibility of turning into me.  I told him I thought he was safe since he's a boy and all and that he would either turn into Charlie or Darin (his biological dad who died when he was 4) but we then agreed that it will probably be a combination since it seems to be partly biological and partly learned. But that's another topic.  Let's keep to the one at hand.

About me turning into my mother...   

You know, I never used to believe that we actually do start to act like our mothers. 

That was before I became one.

I can't tell you how many times I've caught myself doing or saying something to my kids that I know came directly from her and I know if I am able to pick up on it that it must really be obvious to others.

And you know what?  I'm okay with it.  Love you, Mom, and thanks for being who you are!

That is really what life is all about, in my book.  We come into this world vulnerable and helpless, unable to care for ourselves, but it is all okay because God equips us with mothers and I am so eternally grateful to Him, not only for blessing me with mine, but for allowing me to become one too. 

Just a few of the things I've learned/discovered since becoming a mother:

1. There is a such thing as unconditional love.

2. It takes about 24 hours for a cup of milk, left on a nightstand, to take a non-liquid form.

3.  All the stories you hear about how bad labor is do not even come close to the real horror of it. 

4.  Every second of that pain is totally worth it when you see that tiny little face and hold that precious bundle in your arms.

5.  Hearing, "Moommm" in the middle of the night is never a good sign.

6.  Being a heavy sleeper does not apply to mothers.  I was the heaviest sleeper in the entire world before I became a mother. Just ask mine.  But now one of my kids can just stand in the doorway and I will bolt straight up in bed, fling the covers back, and dart for the door saying  "WHAT?  WHAT IS IT?  WHAT's WRONG?"  and my hand always goes automatically to the forehead of the boy in the doorway.

7.  Little boys feel some sort of gravitational pull towards puddles and dirt.

8.  Sleep is a precious gift, especially when you have a baby who fights it with a passion.

9.  Cleaning the house and doing laundry consume about three quarters of a mother's time.  At least.

10. Multitasking is a survival instinct.  

11. Sometimes "giving in" is just the only way of obtaining any sense of sanity.  

12. It is REALLY hard to clean up an entire bag of flour off carpet and furniture.  Trust me...it's way harder than you'd think.

13. Grandmothers or Mawmaws as we like to call them here in these parts, are not only blessings but often lifesavers as well.  Thank God for them.

14. Homemade cards with stick people and backwards letters are the best. Priceless.

15. A clean vehicle is a thing of the past.

16. So is spending hours on oneself to get ready to go out.  

17. Going out now means something entirely different than it did before kids. What used to be going out for drinks, dinner, dancing, etc. becomes going out for diapers, groceries,ball practice, etc.

18. Little boys will whip it out and pee anywhere if you don't watch them like the mother hawk you now are.

19. Being out someplace, even if you know your kids are not with you, and hearing a child call out, "Mom!" will automatically cause your head to snap up and look around for your own child.

20. Moms always know when they're being lied to. 

21. Being a mother is hard.

22. It is also the most bestest gift and job in the whole wide world!

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there's a wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.  ~Erma Bombeck

Time Marches On... (A Re-post)

***This post was originally written and posted on 11/29/2010 (Black Friday)... 


Well, I'm back from shopping. I got up and hit the stores at 4:00 a.m. this morning.

BwaHaHaHaaa!

NOT.

Getting up in the dead of dark and hitting Target and the mall so that I can fight my way through a crowd of crazy-eyed, blood thirsty bargain shoppers all in the name of saving a buck is not my idea of a good time.

Instead I slept until nearly 11 o'clock! And I still feel sleepy. I think my turkey was spiked.

Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I had a brand new wrinkle pop up just over my right eyebrow yesterday.

WTH? Just like that. There it was...Ta-Daa!

So I spent the rest of the day looking in various mirrors, including the side mirror in Charlie's truck as we hit the highway for his dad's house, and pulling the skin back tight on my forehead to see how I'd look with botox.

And I kept hearing Dolly Parton's voice as Truvy in Steel Magnolias, in my head all day saying,

"Honey, time marches on, and eventually you realize it's marchin' across your face!"

I was 18 when that movie first came out and I have seen it numerous times since but that was never one of the lines I related to much. 

Until yesterday.  There it was.  Dolly Parton's voice magically appearing in my head like some full of wisdom fairy godmother.  

I'll be 40 in less than 5 months now and I have spent the last few months since I turned 39 trying to wrap my mind around that.  Simply because I just do not feel it. 

I remember when I first noticed the signs of aging on my face.  I think I was approaching 30 when I realized that there was a little crease in each of my eyelids that was not there before. 

Then around 35, two little wrinkles between my eyebrows showed up magically overnight.

So I suppose it was time since they seem to be showing up in 5 year increments. 

Would I trade them back in, if it meant also trading back all the life experiences and wisdom I've gained in my (almost) 40 years?

Not a chance.  

Besides, there's always botox.  

Or maybe not.