I would not go out into that mob of blood thirsty bargain hunters if I was guaranteed a free t.v.. I prefer to do the majority of my Christmas shopping with the click of a tiny mouse while enjoying my amaretto flavored Folgers in my pajamas, complete with bare feet, bedhead, and a couple of lazy Dachshunds by my side.
And speaking of the lazy Dachshunds, at least one of them...ahem...Brisco Darling!...was a very bad little wiener while we were away for Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. Turns out he somehow got the memo about Thanksgiving being a day for getting your gluttony on because he managed to get into the cabinet and drag the trash can out from under the kitchen sink and proceed to feast on a buttload of old leftover chicken breasts and boneless pork chops that Charlie threw away yesterday morning.
I told him he was a very bad little wiener so he rolled over onto his back and gave me his best "I'm so sorry" look with his belly bulging on both sides and resembling a prized cantaloupe. And then he politely put himself to bed at 9pm.
I, on the other hand, have succeeded at making it through two Thanksgiving get-togethers while only eating one piece of dessert, key lime pie. If I ever turn down a piece of key lime pie, call 911 because I'm either deathly ill or my body has been taken over by an alien life form. It just doesn't happen.
I'm quite sure, however, that I more than made up for the calories I didn't consume in pie by inhaling countless spoonfuls of Nutella that I've been sneaking out of the kitchen cabinet for the past week. I had somehow managed, in my forty years of life, to escape the highly addictive, mouth watering, magical deliciousness that is Nutella.
I blame Pinterest. For all those seductive Nutella-containing recipes.
And the grocery store. For putting it right there beside the peanut butter.
Because I am now in need of a good Nutella Rehab. So if you know of one, please send me their contact information asap.
In other Thanksgiving news, the boys left out last night for a two day hunting trip with their popaw, uncle, and cousin. They had asked yesterday morning if they could take their BB guns with them to which we reluctantly said yes to. But we promptly changed that to a no after I was popped in the mouth by a Nerf dart while minding my own business in Charlie's dad's living room yesterday afternoon.
I shouted out, "I WILL KILL YOU!" before I even realized what or whom had shot me. Not my proudest mom moment but what can I say? It just came out.
The guilty party aka the Dracenator/Idea Man began apologizing profusely and nearly had a complete meltdown once we informed him that he would not be taking his BB gun along on his hunting trip. He insisted that he really only meant to shoot Charlie in the shoulder and instead accidentally hit me in the mouth. And I explained to hit what would happen if he were to "accidentally" pop someone in the eye with his BB gun. At the threat of not going on the trip at all, he reluctantly sucked it up and piped down.
And before I go, I must share this story told by my mother-in-law Wednesday night about a customer complaint she received back when she worked in the Sears and Roebuck customer service department back in the 70s...
She politely answered the phone when she was blasted by a man shouting that he had a new baby who would NOT, for the love of God, STOP crying, that he had been up ALL night long, had missed his ever-lovin' plane and that THAT G.D. PILSBURY DOUGHBOY HAD EXPLODED AND COOKED ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF THEIR NEW REFRIGERATOR THAT WAS AS HOT AS AN OVEN AND THAT HE WANTED SOMEBODY OUT THERE ASAP!!!!
Turns out the compressor on the refrigerator had been installed backwards and it was cooking their food. I did not even know that was possible. She and two other employees ended up going out to the house where she was put in charge of watching the baby that wouldn't stop crying while the mess was cleaned up, the refrigerator was fixed and the wife went grocery shopping.
Now THAT is what I call customer service! Too bad it doesn't exist in the world still today....
Now if y'all will excuse me, I probably should think about getting dressed since it is now noon and I'm still sitting here in my pajamas beside the bad little dumpster diving wiener dog who is now producing some extremely foul smelling gas!
But at least I'm not at Wal-mart...
