My Awkward Moment with the Chicken Farmer...

I was a twenty two year old college student and had been dating a fellow student for awhile.  He was several years older than me, going back to school to study Engineering, and living with a roommate off campus.  


He was from a town a couple of hours away and said that back home he was a chicken farmer.  Hmm....okay, kinda odd but he was sweet, cute and could dance like nobody's business.  And aside from the fact that he had a bit of an embarrassing donkey laugh that I was first graced with in a crowded movie theater, we were hitting it off pretty good.  


He and a friend of his were teaching me dances (this was back in the early 90's during the country music line dancing craze) and well, I've told y'all before how much I love to dance so I was having me a good ol' time kickin' up the dancing heels of my red cowboy boots.  


He was much more attentive than the boyfriend I'd been used to back home, taking me out to a special dinner for my birthday, sending me flowers, calling often.  He even made a fool of himself by coming to one of my aerobics classes at the gym with me once. But most weekends he had to go back home to "check on his mama and see how things were running back on the chicken farm".  


What a good guy, I thought.  Who knows?  Maybe one day...


Well one day finally did come but not the one I had envisioned...  


We had gone to the country music bar/club where we liked to dance, where we had actually met, and were standing over to the corner near the stage drinking our beers and enjoying the band when I realized I had to use the restroom.  Being the gentleman that he always was with me, he asked if I'd like him to hold my beer for  me until I got back so I handed it to him and off I went.  


I wasn't gone 5 minutes but as I walked back out of the restroom towards him I froze in my tracks and watched the color drain out of his face as some woman I'd never seen before (and who, honestly, did not look like anyone who would be his type to me) walked up to him with a big grin on her face, and placed her hands on his cheeks.  


I wasn't close enough to hear what was being said but he looked like he wanted to run for the door and never look back.  I was absolutely clueless as to what was going on but the first thing that came to my mind was stalker!...He's got a crazy, psycho stalker chick!  This cannot possibly end well!  I saw Fatal Attraction!



I figured I'd better stop standing there watching this train wreck from afar and swoop in and rescue him from this crazy lady, whoever she was, so I walked back over there all smiles and with my head held high like I owned the place but when he looked at me, I thought the poor guy was gonna collapse in a heap on the floor.  He didn't look like he knew whether to "scratch his watch or wind his butt"!  


So there the three of us were, enveloped in a sea of awkwardness, that at least two of us were clearly unaware as to which way it had washed in, and staring back and forth at each other with puzzled faces until finally he handed me my beer and walked off.  Walked Off!


And disappeared into the safety of the men's room, leaving the two of us standing there together like we were long lost sorority sisters.  I can't recall how much time passed (probably not as much as it felt like) but we were both just standing there staring off at the band, I with my beer and she with her big giant granny pocketbook, though she did turn to me right after he walked away and asked, "Are you with him?"


I think I just nodded my head and said, "yeah" and then we just went back to our silent awkwardness as we stood watching and waiting until he finally mosied back up and said to me, "I'll be back in a minute" and I watched the two of them disappear outside...he clearly trying to calm her down from whatever was eating her.  


And that's when I knew she was no stalker chick.  She was the chicken farmer's wife!  I knew it in my gut at this point and I didn't even need to hear it from him.  He stayed gone for what seemed like forever.  It's been a lot of years so I can't recall but I know it was at least an hour.  I had quite a few fellas offer to take me home but I declined, telling myself I'd call someone if he didn't show back up with his explanation soon.  


When he finally showed back up I was good and fuming mad, took one look at him and said, "TAKE ME HOME, NOW!" Of course he tried to give me his sad little explanation about how they were separated and he didn't tell me because he didn't think I'd date him if I knew..yada, yada, yada....BULLS**T! 


That crazy fool tried his best to woo me back for awhile after that but no cowboy country line dancing, two stepping move in the world was gonna do it.  Plus, he still had that whole donkey laugh thing working against him so it was all for the best.


Oh, and the chicken farm thing?  All a lie.  Turns out, the Mrs. was putting his sorry butt through school.  Or at least that was the story his other dancing friend gave me... 


I am sure I will never know the full truth of the matter but that particular night still holds the Most Awkward Moment of my Life title in the history of me book.  And let's hope it stays that way!






Post inspired by Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt   3.)An Awkward Moment.

I Broke My Own Rule

The first date I went on, as a widow, when I decided to start dating again was with a very kind Christian man who just happened to be recently separated.  

He had not been married very long at all (6 months I think) when his wife decided that she just could not handle the thought of her ex-husband, and father of her daughter, taking another woman around her little girl so she went back to him.  

Or at least that is the story I was given and the one he believed to be true though I know there are usually several different versions of any one story. 

We met at a restaurant and he was the perfect gentleman but the main topic of our conversation?  Yep.  His ex.  Clearly, though he had assured me he was ready, this man was in no way ready to move forward and had no business dating. 

We had a nice dinner though and at the end of the night he said he'd like to see me again and that he'd call me. 

He called me the next day and wanted to see me again the next weekend.  I told him I just didn't feel comfortable getting a babysitter and going on another date again so soon though I should have just told him the truth, which was that I had no desire to get involved with a man who was still pining for his ex. 

I made a rule right then and there that I would not, under any circumstances, go on a date with anyone else who was "separated". Divorced was okay, but separated?  Not happening. 

I stuck to my guns too.  Everyone I went out with, I met through online dating services which worked perfectly for me because I could screen them out thoroughly before deciding whether or not I wanted to date them.

There were several who, though they seemed great in every other way, I turned flat down because that little relationship status box showed separated.  No matter how hard they tried to convince me it was simply a technicality, (you have to be legally separated for one full year before you can apply for divorce in the state of North Carolina) I would.not.budge. 

I had been back in the dating field for almost two years when Charlie sent me a message on Yahoo.  He made me laugh right away, which is a huge plus in my little book, and seemed like someone I could have a lot of fun with if nothing else.  And his relationship status?  Divorced. 

Or at least that's what it said on his profile. 

We met at a restaurant and I liked him right away.  He was funny, smart, tall with thick curly hair, and obviously had a lot on the ball.  Then...then...he lets the cat out of the bag!

He was NOT divorced yet.  He had only been legally separated for a few months though he assured me that ship had sailed.  

At one point in our conversation, he tells me how he sees himself having a girlfriend who, and I quote "has her own place and I have my own place and we just visit". 

I gave him a polite smile and a nod but inside I was thinking, "I hear ya, big stuff!  Next!"  

I told myself, though I had a wonderful time on our date, that I was going to line myself up another date and I did, for two weeks later.  However, Charlie and I kept emailing each other all that next week and saw each other two or three more times before time for that next date.   

I had spent the entire day with him on that day, two weeks later, when it came time for me to get ready for my other date.  But my heart was just not in it.  I didn't want to go on that date. 

I knew I was breaking my one major rule here that I said I would never, ever break by getting involved with a man not yet legally divorced but everything about him told me to take a chance on him. 

So I told him that I had a dilemma and didn't quite know what to do about it.  He seemed a little taken aback by my confession and honesty and asked if he needed to leave.  I looked at him with my No, you big dummy  look and said, "No.  I don't want to go on that date but I need to know one thing...Are we going to be exclusive?" 

He said he hadn't even thought about going on a date with another woman since the night he met me so I took a leap of faith, went against my own rules and broke that other date as nicely as I could.

We got married 18 months later. Sometimes it pays to listen to your heart and break your own rules! 

This post was written in response to Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt.   "A rule I broke"