And then She Lost It! The Tale of a Penguin

A Very Grouchy Female Penguin

(By Dracen, Age 7)

Once there was a grouchy penguin.  She wanted to fight. She saw a bee. She said,  "Do you want to fight?" 


"Yea", the bee said. She smacked the bee.  He cried.  Then she went to fight a stag beetle.  


At 6:00 the stag beetle peanched (pinched?) her brain.  She said, "BRAIN FREEZE!"


Then she went to fight a polar bear.  "ROAR!"  She did not even say a word and flew to the ocean. (teacher noted in margin that penguins don't fly...Oh come on! They don't talk either!)


Then at 7:00 she went to fight a frog.  


At 8:00 the frog burped swamp gas and the penguin passed out.  (Bwa ha ha!)


At 9:00 she tried to fight a whale shark.  The whale shark ate her foot!  


Then at 10:00, she tried to fight a dragon.  The dragon blowed fire on her.  


Then at 11:00 she lost it (I've no idea where he heard that!) and hurt every animal that hurt her. 


Then at 12:00 a white whale, sand whale, and blue whale came and hurt her.  But she still was fighting!  Then she pushed the blue whale. 


At 12:30 the blue whale went into the sand whale and the sand whale flew into the ocean.  Then the sand whale got stuck on an acere (glacier?).


At 1:00 the sand whale had to go to the hospital.  At 1:30 the penguin went too and she was nice to everybody. 


Starting at 2:00 she said, "Hey, you want a soda?"   "Yea." 


Hey, you want cheese?"  "Yes, please."  


"Hey, you like t.v.?"


She made a lot of friends....even the whales.  




And the moral of the story is...


You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?


If you go out looking for trouble, you're gonna find it?  


Frog swamp gas is some seriously foul stuff?


Penguins are moody?


Females, in general, are moody?


Penguins wear watches?


Never mess with a whale shark?


Seven year old boys two favorite topics of conversation are fighting and passing gas?   I'm going with this one.  


Y'all have a great day.  And watch out for those female penguins!

Fancy Friday...Summer Must-Haves

It's been a few weeks since I brought you the fancy on Fridays, I know. But what with two baseball games every Thursday night and Spring Break and then that little pill called Halcion that I had to take again last Thursday when I FINALLY had the second half of the root canal on number 13, I've just found it difficult to find time to get the fancy on.  

Do y'all remember me telling you about how the first time the Halcion made me sleepy but that I remembered everything and really didn't get that loopy?  Yeah, well not so much this time.  

This time the room started to spin a bit before we'd even left the house and seems I recall mumbling to the endodontist and his assistant, (when they said something about how long the root of my tooth was for a person of my size...or maybe they said for the size of my mouth..who knows?)  that my feet (size 8) are also big and how I believe that something stunted my growth (I'm 5 '4") along the way and that I should have actually been taller.  

Yes, I did.  And I have to go back on May 26th to have number 19 done.  Super.  

Anyway, I hadn't planned to come here today to talk about root canals and Halcion highs but seems I always find myself going down that road now when I try to compose a Fancy Friday post and I'm not sure why that is.  Probably because I was about to compose one on the day I got the phone call telling me I needed the root canals and now I'm like Pavlov's dog.  

Did someone say 'Fancy Friday'?  Ding-Ding-Ding!  "Root canal"!

Enough already.  

I want to talk today about my summer must-haves, the things that I have discovered over the years that I just can't live without during the summer months.  Okay, I know I actually probably could but I really wouldn't want to.  

First up is my good friend, the self-tanner.  I used to be all about a good summer tan.  The real thing.  Until I got that little bit of skin cancer on my chest a few years ago and now I'm all about the sunscreen and the self-tanner.  

My favorite is Jergen's Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer.  It is the bomb and does not streak like many of the others I've tried.  Plus, you can buy it everywhere from Target to CVS and it's pretty inexpensive.  Just $7.89 at Target.  

And of course, sunscreen.  My favorites are just about anything by Neutrogena.  I wear Neutrogena Daily Oil-Free Moisturizer SPF 35, on my face every day, year round.... 

But in the summer months, if I'm going to be outside much I like the Ultra Sheer SPF 45 Dry-Touch Sunblock for all over protection.  It never feels greasy and it's waterproof.  

Old Navy Flip Flops

I love, love, love my Old Navy flip flops and usually get two or three new pairs every summer. They come in every color imaginable and only cost $3.50 a pair or $2.50 when you buy more than one.  And I haven't had one break on me yet.  You just can't beat them for the price.  

I just about live in capri pants in the summer.  I have them in several different  colors but my favorites are the lightweight cargo capris  from the Loft. And sorry but you'll have to click the link to see them because the Loft's photos are not cooperative in the least.  

A Lightweight Cardigan is another summer must-have for me and I kick myself every time I forget to take one along to a restaurant because about 98% of restaurants seem to keep the A/C set on 60 degrees which turns me into a crabby, little old lady all hunched over, shivering and complaining about the misery of my situation.  Please tell me I'm not the only one.  

This one is  $24.94 at Old Navy and comes in an assortment of colors...

Wallaroo Sun Hat

I'm pretty sure I talked about the Wallaroo hats here before but that was like a year ago when only two people were reading this blog.  As opposed to the eight of you who are reading it  now.  And Thank You, by the way.  I love you all!   

Anyway, the dermatologist recommended them to me and I just love the two I have.  I have this one and a canvas one but if you're interested in a sun hat, they have so many different styles and colors to choose from...

When I want something a little fancier than my Old Navy flip flops in the summer, I almost always go for a cute pair of thong sandals, like this Bandolino pair. I actually have these in black and they are surprisingly very comfortable.  

And that is all I have for you today since blogger has been on the fritz since yesterday afternoon. I may just break down and talk about swimsuits next week.  Or at least cover ups.  

Y'all have a great weekend!  

  

The Card That Saved Them

When the boys got home from school Friday,  Dracen went to his room and shut the door. Now, I've been the mom of the Dracenator plenty long enough to know that this could mean some serious trouble and possible destruction of a permanent structure so I poked my head in there and asked what he was doing.  


He was obviously making a card out of construction paper that he quickly hid behind his back as he jerked his head up and replied, "Nothing!"   Aww, he's making me a card for Mother's Day. I shut the door back and went on about my business.  


My "business" at the time consisted of sorting through the candy in the Easter baskets that were still occupying way too much space in my kitchen.  I looked up to see Dracen toting one of the baskets full of candy down the hallway.  


I stopped him and told him to bring that back because I was trying to sort through all that and put the baskets away.  He was acting very sneaky and then I realized he was trying to find a few pieces to put in the envelope with my card he had made me.  Because a few seconds earlier he had been pillaging through the cabinet where I keep things such as envelopes. 


What a precious little angel.  


I had to remind myself of the existence of that "secret" card all weekend in order to restrain myself from losing all self control with the "precious little angel", and his brother too.  


They gave me a big fat cactus with porcupine quills Saturday night and then Sunday morning I got a card they had bought and both signed and the hummingbird feeder I had actually gotten for myself when Charlie and I were at Lowe's Wednesday. 


I tried to act surprised when I unwrapped it by exercising my superb acting skills but Dracen just looked at me like I was insane and said, "but you picked it out!"   Charlie gave me an amused smile and said, "I told him."  


We finally made it out the door for Sunday School (that we were late for) and there it was sitting in a pot beside the garage.  A magnolia tree!  I love magnolia trees and have been wanting one forever.  I hugged them both, gave them a kiss on the head and told them thank you.  


But still....I had not received my homemade card from the Dracenator.  I had been sure that was what he was doing Friday afternoon.  So when we got back from church, after Charlie left to go take his mom out to lunch, and as I was trying to get everything together to take lunch to my mom, I just flat out asked him...


"Hey Dray, weren't you making a card the other day?" to which he sheepishly replied, "yeah".


"Well, who was it for?" 


He proceeded to tell me that it indeed was for me and when I asked why he hadn't given it to me yet, he said "because you'll laugh."  


"Laugh?!  Are you kidding me?  I've been looking forward to this all weekend.  Please give it to me!"   


In one small envelope was a shiny black and white stone.  "Oh, how pretty! Where you'd get this?"  He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I dunno."   "Well, I love it!"  


The other contained the priceless orange construction paper card (that opens backwards), a small pack of M&M's, Sweet-Tarts,  a fun-size Snickers, a pull 'n' peel Twizzler and a miniature pack of sour jelly beans.  


The boy knows his mama.


But what he probably doesn't know is that that backwards opening Mother's Day card quite possibly saved his life (and his brother's too) moments later when they so thoughtlessly ran to the garage and proceeded to scream and fight over who was going to sit where in the car, as I was making my second trip to the car with the food/gift for my mom.  


Dracen allegedly hit Devin in the back of the head with his booster seat but of course he denied all wrongdoing in the matter as he continued to shout over his brother's accusations in order to plead his case.  The boy will never back down from defending his station which will most likely serve him well at some time in his life.  


But NOT on Mother's Day when he's just popped his brother in the head with an inanimate object whether on purpose or accidentally!


I semi-snapped.  


And by "semi-snapped" I mean I got their attention to the point that there was complete and utter silence on the 14 minute drive to my mother's house but did so without physically harming another living being or destroying any valuable object in the process.


So all in all, I'd say my Mother's Day was a success.  For all parties involved.