tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post5752715912453837758..comments2023-10-31T06:05:39.453-04:00Comments on Be Still a Minute...: My Biggest Parenting ChallengeDianehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08209297120840809760noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-49327209338491483872011-11-28T15:27:02.006-05:002011-11-28T15:27:02.006-05:00Oh Diane. I remember these days from when my kids...Oh Diane. I remember these days from when my kids were small.<br /><br />It was almost always my son...the teachers called him 'strong-willed' and told me to get him under control.<br /><br />Oh, I tried. I cried. I tried some more, but he was intent to continue to march, jump, stomp and shout to his own drummer.<br /><br />I found I really had to pick my battles with him and get as much of his energy out before and after school as possible.<br /><br />We survived.<br /><br />But it wasn't always easy.<br /><br />Thanks for this thoughtful and thought provoking post! I wish I had a magic answer for you.<br /><br />All I can offer though is...<br /><br />A giant hug...<br /><br />and an A+Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12462124067637610359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-44409457549964341242011-11-25T09:43:02.406-05:002011-11-25T09:43:02.406-05:00Oh, girl. I feel ya. My son is in the 1st grade,...Oh, girl. I feel ya. My son is in the 1st grade, and we get calls from his teacher regularly. My son has complete meltdowns when things don't go his way. Disruptive meltdowns. And I, too, feel so guilty and embarrassed each time as though I am an inadequate parent.<br /><br />On the other hand, I am a teacher and can tell you firsthand that school is really no place for little boys. I know it sounds awful, but it's true. If I were to give you a list of my "disruptive" students, you will not find a single girl among them. Boys are just more active with shorter attention spans! In general, of course.<br /><br />Yes, he should have consequences for his actions. Being supportive of his teacher is extremely important. However, I wouldn't go apeshit Commando on him. You don't want him to change who he is. You just want him to learn a little self-control. That, my friend, is very hard to teach and comes with time.LBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12143458920315550084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-27019519501794218822011-11-18T06:26:53.471-05:002011-11-18T06:26:53.471-05:00Yes, yes He does. I'm dealing with something ...Yes, yes He does. I'm dealing with something sort of similar. I have a boy in my class who is testing the waters and getting in trouble when he never has before and his parents are MORTIFIED, taking it personally and getting irritated with me. It's hard to convey that I'm letting them know because I know it DOES matter to them and the WILL take care of it and that I still think their child is a great kid, I just can't have him behaving the way he his and we (they AND I) need to make sure we teach him to make GOOD choices!Sorta Southern Single Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14349718837546442408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-5432161361102128642011-11-18T01:07:32.461-05:002011-11-18T01:07:32.461-05:00As the mother of 3 boys, I have been getting these...As the mother of 3 boys, I have been getting these kind of phone calls for 12 years. I'm to the point now where I giggle when the teacher calls, because really, I have no idea what to do! My deepest sympathies. Do not take it personally. I suspect boys were put on this earth to make mommies feel inadequate. The payback is that one day that boy will get married, and his wife will make him feel the same way he's made you feel. See, it's giggle-worthy.Sandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09894333322881236627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-12612784093606165182011-11-17T23:03:10.118-05:002011-11-17T23:03:10.118-05:00Anitamombanita left some great advice in her comme...Anitamombanita left some great advice in her comment too.Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10994393735624178443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-804617081644388452011-11-17T22:58:39.110-05:002011-11-17T22:58:39.110-05:00I'm so with you (the quiet type). You are so e...I'm so with you (the quiet type). You are so eloquent on the page, it's hard to imagine that you have difficulty communicating. I guess the difficulty for me is whenever my emotions are involved, and when it comes to the boys, my emotions are always involved. My lionness protecting her cub is stirred as well as my sense of identity as connected to the way they behave. I really regret the latter and want to be more of a mother who doesn't take it personally and can objectively take on the teachable and redemptive moments. Another great post.Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10994393735624178443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-63469486599573338552011-11-17T21:44:55.060-05:002011-11-17T21:44:55.060-05:00I too was the mother of the class clown (he gradua...I too was the mother of the class clown (he graduated last june thankfully) so I know where you are coming from. I also have a almost 2 year old and my husband constantly makes me feel like a failure everytime little man has a fit Hope your son's behavior improvesTo the Toy Box and Beyondhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09664470779483733379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-68226093003943209442011-11-17T21:34:01.915-05:002011-11-17T21:34:01.915-05:00The shy girl, conversationally challenged....yes, ...The shy girl, conversationally challenged....yes, that is so me too! I completely understand. My son, on the other hand, is growing up to be the complete opposite of me. He's only 5, but he is so outgoing, always wants to make people laugh, loves to dance, sing and just be the center of attention. I'm happy he's this way, but I'm really hoping I never get those emails or phone calls.Jackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09616767136188268618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-42547174243490553452011-11-17T16:24:22.284-05:002011-11-17T16:24:22.284-05:00How true is that?! My son isn't school age yet...How true is that?! My son isn't school age yet, but (as he grows), I become more and more aware that he has a peculiar spunk that I never had. He will not be a wallflower like I was and I love it! It's tough to balance our own perceptions of the way things should be with the way they really are sometimes. The fact he's a clown really means he's a leader that knows how to get people's attention and keep it (if only that power could be used for good rather than evil, hahaha...)....sarah.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08133265016553737445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-3571326377510910912011-11-17T14:50:40.098-05:002011-11-17T14:50:40.098-05:00Everyday it's like one day at a time, and what...Everyday it's like one day at a time, and what will tomorrow bring...and all these years later my kids and I laugh about some of these things way back then....it all works out in such a glorious and mysterious way!21 Witshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00071361755673253230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-52963912812159381212011-11-17T14:50:36.717-05:002011-11-17T14:50:36.717-05:00Everyday it's like one day at a time, and what...Everyday it's like one day at a time, and what will tomorrow bring...and all these years later my kids and I laugh about some of these things way back then....it all works out in such a glorious and mysterious way!21 Witshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00071361755673253230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-91872681557990012502011-11-17T14:38:48.423-05:002011-11-17T14:38:48.423-05:00I am so like you. I am the quietest person I even ...I am so like you. I am the quietest person I even know. I'm not very good at stricking up a conversation but get me behind a keyboard and I'll have at it.<br />My son is the total opposite. He's not in school yet, but everyone keeps joking that he's going to be a handful.<br />I'm not sure what to say to you about dealing with it but I do think that taking away privledges is a good step.Kimberlyhttp://makemommygosomethingsomething.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-17471698410308199292011-11-17T12:44:48.069-05:002011-11-17T12:44:48.069-05:00I dread what JDaniel might do behaviorwise with re...I dread what JDaniel might do behaviorwise with relatives during Thanksgiving. He can throw a mighty tantrum if he feels so moved. I have already be praying that he will make good choices.JDaniel4's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10354900916937838719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-28049693352013453792011-11-17T12:44:47.790-05:002011-11-17T12:44:47.790-05:00I dread what JDaniel might do behaviorwise with re...I dread what JDaniel might do behaviorwise with relatives during Thanksgiving. He can throw a mighty tantrum if he feels so moved. I have already be praying that he will make good choices.JDaniel4's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10354900916937838719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-36650368142106143272011-11-17T12:37:50.576-05:002011-11-17T12:37:50.576-05:00Sigh...
School is tough on some kids. I hear your ...Sigh...<br />School is tough on some kids. I hear your frustration and it would be so nice to be able to find a solution that doesn't try to change your son's personality. Control without stifling. By the way I'm conversation challenged a lot. I do better expressing myself when I write my thoughts down. You are very articulate in communicating through the written word...<br />Hang in there!ellen b.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14531430948905935301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-36794154370814742432011-11-17T12:23:49.040-05:002011-11-17T12:23:49.040-05:00I never know what my 2 girls are going to do and s...I never know what my 2 girls are going to do and say. One is totally respectful and quiet but she is stubborn and speaks her mind:) I got a call from her first year at overnight camp. I was like..."um, what do you expect me to do about it?" <br /><br />My youngest is a free spirit. She does and says what she pleases. Thankfully she is super sweet and sensitive. But, she keeps me on my toes! <br /><br />I'll probably be getting calls about them, both! I found a company called "chicklingo" on line. I'm going to buy one of their signs that says, "it is what it is". <br /><br />Just know that God gave him his personality. Your job is to try to teach him how to manage it. And, if that fails...pull the "sympathy card".stephanyehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05956870980510907852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-46092172780250298592011-11-17T12:06:41.705-05:002011-11-17T12:06:41.705-05:00Isn't it ironic?
My sister, who has always b...Isn't it ironic? <br /><br />My sister, who has always been one who likes to stay out of the limelight, married a man who is pretty out there personality-wise (in a good way, but very different from her...opposites attract, right?). Anyway, they have three kids, and every one of them is a pistol. Colorful as can be!<br /><br />When they were young, they were constantly embarrassing her. Over time, I think she has learned to just chalk it all up to them being who they are, and I don't think she takes it on herself like she used to. In fact, I think she rather enjoys their style!<br /><br />Of course, that's easier to do once they're adults, right?<br /><br />;)Susan Andersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16049586085703324088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-16723793892102415692011-11-17T09:59:30.618-05:002011-11-17T09:59:30.618-05:00I hate those emails/phone calls. And I hate that ...I hate those emails/phone calls. And I hate that it upsets me when I think about how I look like a loser of a parent when my child decides to misbehave. Unfortunately, that stems from our society be WAY too quick to judge the parent when the kid is just being an ahole. Sometimes you can be the best parent and your kid will just have a wild hair up their bum to pull that girls hair today.Jackihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17274668319469085424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-78507822378631860472011-11-17T08:38:56.755-05:002011-11-17T08:38:56.755-05:00I am exactly like that also. I have always been s...I am exactly like that also. I have always been shy. I hate drawing attention to myself. My husband on the other hand has no trouble of saying exactly how he feels. I am so jealous of that. Sorry you are having trouble.Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04605268552555514174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-23788926078548793792011-11-17T08:10:47.968-05:002011-11-17T08:10:47.968-05:00Beautifully written. And know that you're not...Beautifully written. And know that you're not alone. I've had a few notes home this year on my 5 year old, and it hurts and disappoints. Furthermore, you can talk to them and you can take away privileges, but bottom line is that you're not there in the classroom with them, so it's hard to really be effective, you know?Lisa @ Two Bears Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464839163693785901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-42460336842372367662011-11-17T07:58:22.042-05:002011-11-17T07:58:22.042-05:00You are so right about school! When they act out ...You are so right about school! When they act out you look back at every parenting moment and question yourself. Should I not have let him watch Spider-Man? Take karate? Play Leapster Explorer? Have I been a bad parent? I am so with you, girlfriend!Emilyhttp://www.mamasick.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-26277028146879098862011-11-17T00:27:38.774-05:002011-11-17T00:27:38.774-05:00hmmm...I don't know you, your child or the tea...hmmm...I don't know you, your child or the teacher, but maybe his being a cut-up in class has more to do with his desire to fit in or to overcome boredom in the class or something else. Maybe you can talk to him about WHY he's cutting up in class instead of punishing him...just saying. Anyway, I hope you work it out. hang in there.anitamombanitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03705021153044549156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-27668427545949730552011-11-17T00:06:12.341-05:002011-11-17T00:06:12.341-05:00Oh this post takes me back to our son's early ...Oh this post takes me back to our son's early school years...and I am much like you - not wanting to create a scene or draw attention too much.<br /><br />If it helps at all (and I totally understand the feeling of how this reflects on you) that same son of ours grew up to be very social, easily makes friends and communicates very well! <br /><br />Hang in there - sounds like your little guy is a typical fun loving young man.Pathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07395890193161794631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-27234434290209656222011-11-16T21:42:10.944-05:002011-11-16T21:42:10.944-05:00I totally wrote a comment but it disappeared, so i...I totally wrote a comment but it disappeared, so if my response ends up on here twice later bear with me! I could not have said it better myself. Your words are SO me! You know I have been struggling with T since he started Kindergarten. Even had him in counseling for K and 1st. Not sure if it helped but it certainly didn't hurt. I don't have the answers but we keep trying. Some years are better than others but we have struggles every year so can't blame it on the classroom, school or teacher. Anyway, I have said many times I don't know how to relate because I wasn't anything like him. I was so quiet and well behaved, wouldn't dream of acting up. So I am at a loss myself. This year has been better, I credit his teacher. While we struggle she has been fantastic through it all so far. But I have gotten the phone calls that make me sick to my stomach and send me to the car crying. I'm right there with ya...Jenn C.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1457430229512956956.post-36077150877422422472011-11-16T20:21:22.448-05:002011-11-16T20:21:22.448-05:00When people pick at our kids, it's like they&#...When people pick at our kids, it's like they're picking at our souls, and it's awful! I sure hope you get this one figured out. I'm so sorry!<br /><br />And when you talked about stumbling over your words in person, I knew you were my soul sister.Liz Mayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13960276167677132860noreply@blogger.com