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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Heavy Heart

I just realized I haven't posted in almost a week.  A week?  Really?  I've been here.  Didn't really mean to go all stealthy on y'all.  

Hope you all had a great holiday weekend.  The boys had plans Saturday so Charlie and I went to see The Hangover 2.  I really, really wanted to see Bridesmaids but it was showing at weird times.  One was too late for us to get back and get the boys at a decent hour and the other was too early for me to have time to put my closet back in some sort of acceptable order.  

Not that it was in any kind of decent order to begin with but I dove in there head first Saturday afternoon and attempted to find the floor.  And I am happy to report that I found it and that once again, my shoes are all aligned in proper formation and all my shirts are on one side and all my skirts, pants, shorts and dresses are on the other.  

I give it about two weeks like that. Apparently too much organization makes me nervous or uncomfortable.  Or something.  But at least I know when to say when.  

Yesterday we had some family over for a cookout.  And while we did cook "out", we ate "in" because the temps. have already reached the 90's here in these parts which makes it a tad bit uncomfortable to sit on a sunny deck and eat.  I don't know about y'all but I prefer to not have sweat rolling down my neck and back when I'm trying to eat my grilled chicken sandwich.  

Spring seems to last for about 15 minutes around here and then we're all complaining that it's too hot.  Summer... It's a love/hate relationship.  

Speaking of relationships, I have had a heavy heart since Sunday afternoon for a longtime friend of mine. I received a phone call from a mutual friend Sunday that my good friend, Shirley, found out last week that she has a brain tumor.  She had not had any symptoms until one day last week while at a store, she became disoriented and lost temporary function of her fingers.  

She somehow made it home, went to the doctor, had an MRI and was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Just like that.  

I met Shirley about 11 and a half years ago.  I had recently bought into my friend Dana's florist.  It was around Christmastime, Dana was pregnant and out sick with a migraine and I was left alone with 5 month old Devin and about 25 funeral orders to man the shop on my own.  Needless to say, I was in over my head.  

We had met and talked with Shirley the week before about coming on to help us with deliveries and to assist with taking orders in the shop.  She wasn't supposed to start until the next week but I was desperate.  I dug her phone number out, called her and practically begged her to start immediately!  

She was there within minutes, loading her little car down (because to top it all off the van was in the shop!) with funeral arrangements, dozens of roses and a big bouquet of balloons making it impossible for her to see out her rear window and did it all with a smile on her face.  She literally saved the day.  

Shirley is one of those people who is always thinking up ways to help someone else and she was there for me during my darkest days of grief after losing Darin.  She would just show up with a smile and start cleaning my house, doing my laundry and playing a game of Candyland or Chutes and Ladders with the boys.  

I was just telling Charlie the other night that I needed to call her and see how she and her husband were doing since she had not made it to any of the boys' baseball games this year and they are almost over. Very unlike Shirley.  

She had an appointment today at Duke Medical Center and was told to be prepared to stay.  I'm not even sure what that means.  I just ask you all to please say a prayer for her. 

Thanks and have a blessed day,

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

My Top 10 Summer Fashion Don'ts

1.  Shorty short shorts a.k.a. Daisy Dukes a.k.a. Booty Shorts!  Now, I'm not saying that if you are young enough, in shape enough and/or confident enough that you should not strut your stuff in your short shorts.  I rocked mine out in my twenties and even into my thirties and could maybe, possibly still rock them on occasion now if I was having an I'm gettin' better with age moment  it was a hundred and ten degrees of humid heat outside.   

What I am saying is that no matter what your age, weight or shape, if your butt cheeks are hanging out of your shorts then you, girlfriend, have gone too far and need to redefine what "short shorts" means to you. 

If you aren't sure, hold that hand mirror up and check your junk in the big mirror. If you see any bare butt flesh, you have crossed the line and should not pass Go, collect your 200 dollars or turn that door knob and step foot out your house until you cover that stuff up.

And words on the booty shorts?  Double Don't! And men in short shorts of any kind?...Triple Dog Don't!  

2. Speedos. K, so I'm pretty sure this one goes without saying but I'm still gonna say it. Just Say No.  'Nuff said.  

3. Capris for men. I realize this is a double standard because the good Lord knows I love my capris in the summer but it is my personal opinion that capri pants should not be considered as a fashion choice for men, but if either of my boys ever get the idea to try a pair, I will try my darndest not stand in their way. Though I will strongly encourage them to consider ALL their options first.  

And if Charlie ever decided he wanted to sport a pair, well then I'd recommend getting a good sturdy umbrella because the pigs would be flying, and I mean a flyin'  high! 

Sorry Ashton, but it's a No for me.

4. Teva and Birkenstock Sandals. And this goes for anything remotely resembling a pair.  Now I realize there is quite a large number of people who can't live without theirs and have sat and listened to many of them go on and on about how comfortable and cushy soft they are and I understand that some folks need extra support for their flat feet, fallen arches and what not and I'll give them that.  Just please, for the love of Pete, do NOT, under any circumstance, wear socks with them.  Please, I beg you!  

5. Pantyhose With Sandals.  This is never a good look.  NEVER.  Again, I understand there are some ladies who need the support hose but at least cut the toes outta those babies if you feel you absolutely must wear them with your sandals.  I think they even make toe-less ones now if I am not mistaken....Hose without toes they call them.  

6. Crocs for anyone over the age of 12.  I know Crocs have been insanely popular for the past several years though I haven't been seeing them around quite as often as I once did and praise the heavens above for that! But there are still quite a few pairs creeping around out there.    

Unless you are still in the cute stages of childhood or you are tilling, digging or planting in your garden, leave the Crocs where they the children's department!  

7. Bralessness in Public.  Now some of you who are small busted may just be able to get away with this and if you are one of those women, then more power to you, sister!  More power to you!

But the good vast majority of us have no business letting our girls fly free in the wind, especially those of us who are a C and up.
Trust me, I live in the South so I know that evil ol' brassiere can be a nightmare to strap on when it's a sticky 95 degrees with a hundred and ten percent humidity outside. 

But we must, we must, we must control our busts!  

8. Wearing Uggs with Shorts or just in Summer, period!  I am personally not a big fan of the Uggs and all their relatives myself, even in the winter months, though they don't bother me quite as much then.  

But this?!  Well, this just leaves me feeling confused.  Oh Britney, bless her heart! 

9. Men's Dress loafers without Socks. This was not a good look for Don Johnson in 1985, is not a good look still today and shall not ever be for forever and evermore....amen.

10. The Fanny Pack.  I must confess right here and now that I was once a fanny pack Don't.  Seems I recall struttin' my stuff all over Disney World circa 1995 with my fanny pack strapped around my waist but I have since corrected the error of my fanny pack ways.  
I know it's a convenient way to keep up with all your junk when you're hitting the amusement parks and doing the tourist thing on your summer vacation but opt for a cute little backpack instead.  They make tons of stylish ones now.  Like this pretty canvas one by Fossil

What are some of your Summer Don'ts?  Mama Kat wants to know. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

WW....When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my 
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately 

wanted to paint another one. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a 
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind 
to animals. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little 
things can be the special things in life. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a 
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always 
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a 
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I 
learned that we all have to help take care of each other. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care 
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have 
to take care of what we are given. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you 
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't 
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be 
responsible when I grow up. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come 
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things 
hurt, but it's all right to cry. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you 
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of 
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and 
productive person when I grow up. 

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and 
wanted to say,’ Thanks for all the things I saw when 
you thought I wasn't looking.'  
~Mary Rita Schilke Korazan

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Wiener Fever and Reality T.V.

Hello.  My name is Diane and I am a Dachsaholic. 

So we made our second trip to the annual North Carolina Wiener Roast on Saturday and just like last year, I came home with the fever.  You know how some women get baby fever when they're around babies and their uterus starts to ache for another?  

Well I don't get that but I come down with the wiener dog fever about once a quarter, with my worst case coming on after I've attended the wiener roast where I am surrounded by Dachshund lovers with their Dachsies of all shapes, sizes, colors, and personalities.  

I know I could become a foster and help lots of little wieners find their forever homes but I know me and I know how easily and quickly I become attached to those little long dogs so I know I would just end up with a house full of them that I just could not, under any circumstances, part with.  

And then my family and friends would stage an intervention against me and you'd see me on that Animal Planet show, Confessions: Animal Hoarding, where I'd be trying to convince some therapist why I really and truly do need a hundred and twenty one wiener dogs living in my house. 

And Charlie and the boys would be all..."Look!  It's us or the dogs!"  and I'd be all, "Can I sleep on it?"  And that's never good.  

Speaking of freaky reality t.v. shows, I watched one last night that frightened me a little.  I had not planned on it.  It just kinda happened.  No, really. 

You see, I was watching Sister Wives  (because how can anyone not watch a show about a family consisting of one husband, four wives and a hundred and fifty kids?) and it came on right after that and I just could not turn away.  Could not.  It was that whole train wreck syndrome thing.  

Oh, but before I tell you about the freakiest of freak shows, I have to talk about Kody Brown and his wives for just a moment.  Did any of y'all see this last night? 

The family was planning a big move to Vegas because they were all over the top with paranoia about being prosecuted for their polygamous lifestyle after coming out on TLC last year and Janelle (wife number 2 and the wife who seems to me to have the most brains of the four wives) got upset with Kody because she thought they should leave a day earlier than he was planning to leave.  

So he goes over to Christine, wife number 3, and starts whining to her about the argument he just had with Janelle, saying how unreasonable she was being. 

And y'all.  I just about fell out of my chair when he referred to her as "your sister wife".  She says, "No, she's your wife."  And he says, "No, right now she's your sister wife!"  like you would say to your spouse when your kid is being a little tyrant..."Did you see that big A. mess your son just made?!"

I could not believe my ears.  I had to rewind that sucker for an instant replay.  

All I can say is I hope last night wasn't his night to sleep with Janelle because if she watched the airing of that episode then I'm willing to bet Kody Brown was in deep polygamy horse dookie with wife number 2.  

But that was absolutely nothing compared to the freakiness of the show that came on afterwards.  It was about a man who could not get his 600 pound girlfriend fat enough.  He encourages her to stuff her face to her heart's content and is trying to help her reach her goal of 1,000 pounds.  Say what?!

He confessed that he finds nothing sexier or more appealing than rolls and rolls of fat covered in cellulite.  And apparently, he is not the only one because there is actually a term for his fetish.  Feederism.  

If I was a betting woman, I would bet my wiener dogs that  Dr. Phil and Jillian Michaels would give their right arms to get a piece of that crazy train action. 

And I'd tune in to watch. 

But I'd never really hand over my wiener dogs.  

Friday, May 20, 2011

Fancy Friday...TGIF! and a Wiener Roast

I can't remember the last time I was so happy to see Friday arrive.   I'm sure that about two weeks into the summer, okay one week, I'll  be at my wit's end with the two fighting brothers on my hands all day every day but I am so ready for this school year to end.  

Since when did we start having more homework the last 3 weeks of school?  All year Dracen's second grade homework pretty much consisted of reading 15 minutes a night and one math sheet with a front and back to it.  But for the past few nights that one math sheet has turned into four two-sided math sheets.  

Not to mention the two back to back baseball games we have twice a week now.  And do you know how hard it is to get the Dracenator to be still and focus on that many math problems at one time when he's been restrained in the institution known as public school all day long?

Let's just say I've been finding the breathing techniques I learned in yoga most helpful these past couple of weeks. 

I had thought about talking about swimsuits for this edition of Fancy Friday but since I was unable to focus my eyes on this screen late last night, that's not going to be happening today.  Instead, I'm just gonna show you some random things that have caught my eye this week...

Drops of Jupiter Aqua Gold Earrings
Now you're going to be singing that Train song in your head all day, aren't you?  You're welcome.

Filtered Rays Top
I'm loving this top from Anthropologie. Those mesh sleeves add just the right amount of fancy and I love the v-neckline.  Also comes in grey and a light shade of purple.  

Deux Lux Duffel Bag
I saw this overnight/weekender bag in O Magazine and just fell in love with it.  It comes in 6 different color combinations.  

IssacMizrahiLive! Bracelet

This bracelet was featured in Redbook.  Love!  And sorry,  but that photo refused to be copied, saved, uploaded or otherwise so click that link.  

I love a lightweight skirt, like this one from The Loft, for summer.  Great alternative to shorts or capris.  Comes in 7 different colors.

Have y'all been in Target lately and seen the new Calypso St. Barth for Target beachwear items?  Cute, cute stuff!  I'm loving this Print Dress in Turquoise...

Stretch Voile Kaftan
Is this kaftan by Athleta not one of the cutest cover ups you have ever seen?  Comes in two other colors.

Collective Concepts Striped Dolman Top
This dolman top from Piperlime just looks so soft and comfy doesn't it?  

And how cute would it look with these Capacious Trousers and a cute little pair of wedge sandals?  

Like this pair by Jessica Simpson?

And since it is now going on 11 o'clock and I've got about a humpteen gazillion loads of laundry to do, an entire house to clean, and groceries to buy, I must bid you all adieu.  

Hope y'all have a great weekend.  I will be heading to Jamestown, NC tomorrow for the annual North Carolina Wiener Roast where I will be surrounded by all things wiener dog.  Heaven on earth, it is...heaven on earth!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Jealous Mommy

That little green monster has gotten the best of most all of us at some point in our lives.  It seems to be at its worst when we are younger though it can pop back up and bite us at anytime throughout the years.

It popped back up and bit me hard about 12 years ago.  I had not expected it, didn't see it coming, and had a hard time keeping it under lock and key.  

I never really saw myself being a stay at home mom...just didn't think I was cut out for it or that I had it in me.  That all changed the minute I became a mom and suddenly there wasn't anything I wanted more than to spend my days doting over my little bundle of joy.  

The end of my pregnancy was  a little rough on me so I had to take two of my twelve weeks leave of absence before he was born, which gave me ten weeks with him until I had to return to work.  

The jealousy began during those ten weeks. We would be at some gathering or function and I'd see one of them coming....the baby snatchers!  You know the ones I'm talking about, right?  Those ladies (usually older) who can sniff out an infant a mile away and they waste no time at all coming in for the steal.   

I could feel my heart start to race, sweat begin to bead up on the back of my neck and the anxiety rise up in the middle of my stomach....  

Oh God, here she comes.  She's gonna try to snatch him from me and he's gonna cry and then she's gonna start running down the list of reasons why he's crying, reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that she just snatched him from his mama! 

 ..."Oh, he must be hungry!" ...or..."Is he wet?"...."Ohh, bless his little heart, he's just sleepy!"  


Okay, so I never actually said that but it took every ounce of niceness I could dig out of myself to refrain from it.  Horrible, right? I mean these were all nice people who just loved babies and only wanted to cop a little feel of that soft, chubby baby fat and breathe in that sweet, intoxicating baby smell that had long since left their lives.  
But I couldn't help it.  I didn't like it.  He was my baby and I wanted him all to myself, darn it!  Why couldn't they see that? Understand that?

There were certain people I didn't feel this rage towards, like his momaws and popaws and his daddy, Darin.  That is, until I had to return to work and Darin, since he got off work earlier, would usually pick him up from the babysitter's house. 

He learned very quickly that not having my Baby Boy Devin waiting on me when I got home from work was a very, very, BAD idea!  The first time I came home and they weren't there, I nearly blew a fuse and when he did get home with him and try to explain that he had only taken him to visit his grandmother or to show him off to some friends, I became even more furious!  

Clearly, I had a problem.  

When he was five months old, I quit my job and bought into my longtime friend's florist and began taking him to work with me every day.  (He was a very easygoing baby which made this doable)  And wouldn't you know it? 

That little green monster just up and left the building.

Fast forward four years to the Dracenator's baby days and there wasn't a green monster to be found within a 200 mile radius.  I was staying home, he was fussy, cranky and never slept.  O, Baby snatcher, Baby snatcher!  Wherefore art thou, baby snatcher?! 

The post was written for Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt, "Write about a time when jealousy got the best of you." and Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

WW...Objects in Mirror are Closer than they Appear

For more Wordless/Wordful Wednesday posts, visit Amanda at Parenting By Dummies, Angie at Seven Clown Circus, Alicia at Project Alicia, and Kristi at Live and Love...Out Loud.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

My apples didn't fall far from the tree!

We had a splinter catastrophe here at my house last night.  And by splinter catastrophe I mean somebody pitched a ginormous fit over the removal of a splinter from the finger.  

And it wasn't me.  Or Charlie.  

So I'll leave it up to you to guess who it was.  But both my offspring behave in a similar psycho manner whilst contemplating splinter removal.  Seriously y'all, I do not kid.   You would have thought we were talking about possible toe or foot amputation.

It was stressful.  And Craaaazy!!


"Well, I can see it sticking out of your finger.  This is an easy one.  All we need to do is pull it right outta there with some tweezers."


"Okay, fine.  Then do it.  Pull it out and get it over with."  


"Look, I have the tweezers.  Come over here and let one of us pull it out!"


"What tha?  Boy, have you lost your mind?! It's a SPLINTER!"

And this went on for a good 40 to 45 minutes before we finally had to team up on him.  Charlie held him down while I yanked it out with tweezers.  I feared the neighbors were going to call the police and report us for child abuse.  

Because not only was he screaming like we were beating him with wet noodles, Li'l Bit Darling the Nervous Nellie wiener dog was having a chaos-induced barking fit. 

Fun, fun times.  

And now I must play fair and throw my own self under the crazy train with a confession. 

I know who they got this behavior from. And it did not come from their daddy's side. . 
But let's keep this on the down low because having them know that their mama was the world's biggest drama queen when it came to scraped knees and splinter removal will not help my cause the next time one of them is facing it.

My babysitter, Mrs. White, used to have to threaten to call "the ambulance" on me every time I got hurt at her house which would usually shut me up, or at least turn down my scream volume. Because unlike the boy I just told the story about, there were few things in life that scared me more than the threat of going to the ER.

My mother was pretty used to my behavior so she just rolled with it and let me carry on until I was done with my woe is me fit. But the first time I got hurt around my stepmother, Lynne (who my dad married when I was 6), I think I nearly scared the living daylights out of her.  

One weekend when I was at my dad and Lynne's house, her daughter (my sister, Stephanye) and I were outside playing when I scraped up a toe or something and immediately went into one of my Omg, I'm bleeding to death fits.  

She and my dad came running to find me hysterical and sobbing,  "I...'s...bleeeding!!!"  When they asked me to show it to them, I dramatically kicked my foot out into the air while squealing and shrieking only to realize I had shown them the wrong dang foot.  

"No, No, Wait!  That's...the...WRONG...FOOT! It's...the other one!  It's... THIS... ONE!!!  Waahhh!!!"  

I think I'm probably lucky I lived to see the light of the following day after that one.  

For the most part, I have outgrown that crazy drama train but I still come close to an inner anxiety attack any time a doctor mentions drawing blood from my veins or when someone, and by someone I mean Charlie, puts a knife in the dishwasher sharp side up and I jab my hand into it while loading more dishes....

And I'm not going to give you all the details here but let's just say, he's never made that mistake again.

So what about you?  Do you ever recognize any of your own less than endearing qualities in your kids?  Go on, you can tell me.